Two weeks ago I was driving Kaishon home from a school dance.
It was the night before Mother's Day.
This dance was a dance that had been thrown upon me 48 hours before attending. A dance where the outfit of choice was questioned heavily by me. A dance that cost $48 to attend.
A dance. A dance. A dance.
So, picture this. It's 11 PM. I have to get up the next morning to work at the hospital. I had been with 2 little people all day and was completely exhausted. I had a million more photos to edit of a wedding but I had broken away to pick up my one and only child from the dance. I was drained. You get the picture, right?
My cherub, says to me, in all sincerity, "You aren't going to win any Mother of the Year awards, Mom."
I am sure a more loving and kind mother would have smiled sublimely and said, "Maybe I can win one next year."
This mother, yelled. I yelled something like this: "Are you crazy? I am not going to win any Mother of the Year awards? Why would you even say something like that to me? You aren't going to win any Child of the Year awards. You aren't even going to win any Human of the Year awards." Or something equally stupid.
And then I cried.
Kaish, being a rational and intelligent person, got out of the car and went into the house.
So, I sat there in the driveway hyperventilating.
I am not going to lie to you, I am terrible at mothering a teenager. More terrible than anything you could ever imagine. I would have thought I would do fine at this. Back when I was a young Mom and we were breezing through the baby, toddler and pre K years, you couldn't tell me anything. I just knew, without a doubt, I would rock out ALL areas of motherhood.
But here I am.
Flat on my face.
I am terrible at it and I admit it. They say that is the first step, right?
I know things will get better soon.
Kaish is a great kid.
In fact, I think he is the world's greatest.
My friend Skeller recommended Dr. Lehman's books and I intend to read one soon. Just as soon as I can trim my massive amount of editing. So, basically, next Christmas...
the Parenting Failure of the Year