Sunday, January 27, 2013

'...Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?' Mary Oliver, "The Summer Day"


My friend Fredrick's father passed away last week.
Fredrick spoke at the funeral about his Dad.

Fredrick never has less than 2 jobs and is always happy to do overtime.
He felt guilty about working so much, so he would buy his parents nice things.
Things for their house or for their cars.
But his Dad never wanted the things.

Fredrick's Dad would say thank you and be grateful but all he really wanted was time.
In October, Fredrick took his Dad and son out for breakfast. 
They stayed at the restaurant for 4 hours.
Fredrick told him that day that he was going to take him out to breakfast every month from then on.

The next month, Fredrick's dad had a stroke.
A very bad stroke.
He was getting better and making progress,
but just last week, he passed away.

Fredrick's heart is broken.
Thankfully, Fredrick's Dad believed in Jesus.
Will you please keep Fredrick and his family in prayer this week?

Also, spend time with the people you love.
As much as you can. 
Whenever you can.

Kaish and I are going to go over to my parents this week for dinner on Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday. 
It is inconvenient. 
It is a half hour drive in rush hour.
It is a school night.
But you know what?
It matters.
Time matters.
Some people say you can spell love like this:

We never know how long God will give the people we love to us, do we?

So, whether you spell it t-i-m-e or l-o-v-e,
make sure you are spending time and telling the ones you love how important they are to you. They are more important than any amount of money you have in your bank account. 


Mari said...

This is so true and timely for me too. My Dad has been having some health issues and I've been quite busy running him to appts, setting up meds and just checking him. He's so grateful for me doing this, and I must admit that there are times I don't feel like making that drive. Then I think about what a great Dad he's been and this is really the least I can do. Time is a great gift to give.

richies said...

Time is the one thing that we all have in equal amounts. Awesome post. Thanks for your prayers for my Mom.

An Arkies Musings

Wanda said...

Oh this is so very true. The older I get the more I realize all I want from my adult kids are "time" and it's what they have least of. So we take what we can get and love it and hope we live to enjoy them for many more years.

Saying prayers for your friend.

noexcuses said...

Very touching story, and oh, so true! Time means more than anything to children, peers and parents. Thank you for sharing this. I will keep Fredrick's family in my prayers.

Tracy P. said...

I could tell you a very similar story about my mom. I had no idea how little time we would have with her the year I gave her coupons for Christmas for lunches with my baby and me. God knew it was the best gift I would ever give MYSELF! Praying that Fredrick will let go of regret and not let it rob him of joy he can have now--and also that he will know how proud and appreciative his dad certainly was.

Great post Becky. I hope it will get somebody off the dime. Give your parents a hug from your blog readers. Seeing how much you love them makes us love them too. ;-)

Nita Davis said...

Touching post. It is so true things don't matter it is the time spent with loved ones that matters.

Keetha Broyles said...

Wonderful post.

I'm guilty of not spending enough time.

Brian Miller said...

so true...we never know really...we act at times as if we have all the time in the world...nothing will every replace the time we invest in those we money is worth it...

Anita Johnson said...


Pumpkin Delight (Kimberly) said...

I'm glad you are going to dinner with your parets and you are lucky to only live 30 minutes from them. :)

Pumpkin Delight (Kimberly) said...


Cyndy Newsome said...

I truly wish I could send this to my boyfriend's sister. Her dad is literally dying. He's been suffering from lung cancer for years now and is in the end stages. But she almost NEVER comes to visit - because she's "too busy" and works 55 hours a week and blah blah blah.
You can never ever get that time back....

Tamar SB said...

I pray that his memories will be a source of comfort. said...

Thank you for this precious reminder.


Rachel said...

Oh oh oh. Heartbreak and gratitude all at once. So glad he had that one beautiful 4 hour meal with those boys in his life!

Such a good reminder... thank you.

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Dina Lettre said...

So beautiful. So true.

Katherine Vargas said...

sorry for the lost of your dear friend Becky, i know what you mean time is everything and we should take the time at lease once or twice a week to spent it with our love ones.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Time is our most precious gift....and we can never get it back. We can only give it.
Prayers for your friend and their family

Cinella Reyes said...

Amen... thanks for sharing! It's been over eight years since my father past. And it was amazing to see how everyone gathered together the last few weeks of his life.

-Cinella @ The Mami Blog
ps. Kaishon is so big! I haven't stopped by in a while. I followed ur blog years ago through UnknownMami!

LJ said...

Beautiful post. I have that Mary Oliver quote hanging on my bathroom wall...funny, my husband just hung it up last night!

Unknown Mami said...

This really got to the heart of matters. Time spent together matters, it really does.

Drew said...

So true, Becky. I had to stay at school the other day to work on IEPs while Mark and the kids went to my parents. I really didn't want to miss it, because I do know how fleeting time is. After reading this post, I'm determined to go visit them tomorrow.

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