Thursday, December 15, 2011

beware: thankful (but snippy)

I remember reading on many photographer blogs a couple of years ago that Christmas season was insane.
I didn't know what they meant.
I mean insane? Really? 
Doesn't that sound a little dramatic?
You know me: I shy away from drama....Seriously! Why are you laughing?

Well, let me tell you, this Christmas season has been INSANE.
And when I say insane I mean:
So insane that our tree isn't up.
So insane that I haven't paid our car insurance bill that was due last Friday.
{Don't tell Gary!}
So insane that I have the Titanic theme song on loop and have listened to it no less than 152 times tonight....
I have loved some parts of the insanity.
Many parts to be truthful.
LOVED the Families.
Loved the Babies. 
Loved the Children. 
Loved the Santas 
and the Parties 
and the Wonder of the Season.
Weird capitalization because I fancy myself some sort of poet. Just go along with my insanity today, K?
It is a little stressful though.
Like, so stressful I might or might not have started crying for no reason at all in the middle of the grocery store on Wednesday.
I am not sure if it was picture stress 
or work stress 
or the fact that the cat food cost as much as the human food...
Last night I fell into bed at 2:35 AM
Thank God it did not collapse!
As I set the alarm for 5:30 I reflected on the day. And then I cried some more. I haven't been a nice Mom to Kaish at all lately. I haven't been nice to my co workers.  Or the clerk at the market. Or anyone really.
I have been terribly grumpy and irritable. 
Snippy to the max.
Every second I am editing.
Or shooting.
Or driving Kaish somewhere to be babysat so I can shoot.
I miss him.
I miss my kid.

All the kids I am shooting are perfectly wonderful.
I love their smiles and their little ideas and questions.
I love my job.
I just miss my own kid.
My own wonderfully fantastic and quirky child.
And I miss you.
Blogging is the best outlet.
Thank you for hanging around.
I am sorry I have abandoned you lately.
Don't worry. I promise to be back soon with tons of beautiful family pictures and lots of love.
Love, Snippy Becky who now has I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston playing instead of Celine Deon's Titanic song. Try not to be impressed!


Dina @ 4 Lettre Words said...

You are so sweet, B...and I hope things slow down so you can just cuddle that boy of yours by the Christmas tree!

Cindy P said...

Beautiful pictures!! I especially love the bokeh and the ones of the kitty cat.

I'm sorry that you are so stressed. Try to find some time to relax. Whether it be 30 minutes one afternoon. It should make you feel better!

Danelle said...

Having too much photography work makes me snippy too. I'm trying to cut back, because I hate it when it doesn't feel fun anymore. But your photos are SO gorgeous. I can see why you're busy!

Tricia said...

I have this banner on my wall that says "gnade" which is German for grace. It reminds me when I have days like you've had that I'm covered by grace. Don't forget to give yourself a little grace in the midst of the insanity. :)

Megan said...

Hang in there!!!!

Tracy P. said...

Oh girly, you have some good taste in voices! I would be way too distracted to do anything if I listened to them for background music.

Glad you are getting so many opportunities! It should quiet down for you soon. Lucky, lucky people. :-)

Busy Bee Suz said...

I hope the stress leaves....and you can enjoy LIFE...enjoy Christmas!!!!!!!
Lovely photos. :)

Brian Miller said...

nice...lovely pics...and this can be a crazy season so def make time to be with your own...soon enough you cna breath again...

Cecily R said...

I get you...OH how I get you!!! I just realized last night that for the first time since October I'm caught up on editing. And it feels weird. I keep wondering what I'm missing. :)

Your pictures are gorgeous, as always.

Maggie S. said...

I love visiting here. You are so nice.

Snippy? Are you kidding me? Girl, you couldn't even Snip in my league.

Farmgirl Paints said...

love you girlie. stress makes everyone mean. just the facts. get that tree up!

Mari said...

I'm having the same kind of season! We'll all catch up after Christmas.

Dominique@Dominique's Desk said...

Hope that next week will be a better week for you and you will be less stressed.

Mom of M&Ms said...

yep!!! Christmas is crazy if ya shoot people for a living.. If it is any help.. I offer all my Christmas clients a discount starting in September to book early...usually what happens is that.. they send me new people so I still end up crying in the middle of the night.. But I am thankful for every single one.. cause January can be a bit quiet for a photog

Betty Manousos@ Cut and Dry said...

gorgeous photos and words!

you have an eye candy blog.

happy weekend!

Lisa said...

Dear Cranky, mean rotten Becky,

Don't worry we love you anyway ~ So does your family. especially Gary, dad, your mom, sister, brother ALL THOSE beautiful babies:) and Kaishon ~ Who you are a FABULOUS mother too! and don't you forget it or else!!! You truly are he best!

Just so you know: what goes on the blog stays on the blog and I would NEVER say anything about the insurance. Your secret is safe with me. also, I just remembered I forgot to pay my husbands business insurance...YICKS!!!! I better get off the computer and get it done. before he kills me. :) Yicks!


Kristy said...

You are funny and so honest. I think we all go through times like that.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Hope things slow down so you can get some quality time with your boy.

Elaine A. said...

I hope you get a break soon! I know you love what you do (and are ARE so good at it) but we all need down time. Happy Holidays!! xo

Linda Makiej said...

Fabulous friday work!! Happy Holidays!

Tamar SB said...

Hang in there, Becky! You are fantastic at everything you do, just breath and ride the wave that is life. ENjoy your holidays too!!

mommy of Five said...

INSANE: now your speaking my language =0) loved this post! Life may be crazy but I wouldn't change a thing and i'm sure you wouldn't either=0)

Jim said...

Welcome to the Human Race, Becky! This can be an INSANE time of year alright! But you will're listening to Whitney!!!!! Have a great week, you will make it!

M said...

Great shots...take a deep breath....Tis the season!

Light Trigger said...

that kitty on the cuteeee!

Light Trigger: our entry

Skeller said...

oh dear. of course you're busy. because you're talented, fun, generous, and love to say "yes!" here, let me plant some new mantras for you to keep in the back of your mind: "I would be delighted to take pictures for you. I'm booked out for this month. How is the 3rd week of January for you ...?" (you say this "I'm booked out" even if that means you only take 2 bookings per month. decide how much you really want to be working on top of your full time job and ONLY accept that many sessions per month). It's nice to be in demand ;-). Go give Kaish and huge hug and enjoy him this weekend! :-D

Jennifer @ Studio JRU said...

I am sorry that things are insane for you. I miss you! I am hoping you find some peace so you can enjoy this special season with your family! ((HUGS))

Between You and Me said...

insane seasons make us mean.
they just do.
thank God our children and our husbands and our friends are quick to forgive.

hope you get that tree up this weekend, but if you don't, life will go on.

love all the pictures you captured in this post.

deb duty said...

I totally understand where you're coming from! Love your bokeh photo!

Suki said...

Oh sweet Becky, life sometimes is so crazy. And I feel ya having two jobs. I imagine it being even harder while being a mommy to someone.
Hope you have time to enjoy him very soon. Love ya! xxx
And your pictures are stunning.

Charmaine Poulin said...

I completely understand! We've had a month of sickness...I just got the tree up on Wednesday....because my husband had to stay home with the stomach when he had a bit more colour, I asked him to bring it in for us. And I had a meltdown.....and a good friend to listen. And now she calls me everyday to find out what I'm thankful for....and I HAVE to think of something (and there are so many things....when I try not to be overwhelmed and look for them!). Hugs to you!

Formerly known as Frau said...

I hope this week is better and you can go back to being your normal self and see your baby more....! Until then just breathe...

richies said...

When our family gets together for Christmas, "insane" describes it perfectly.

An Arkies Musings

urban muser said...

beautiful shots. hope things settle down for you soon!

Shey said...

Oh Becky, I send you hugs and I'll be keeping you in my prayers, you are such a wonderful mom, I often hear the instructors at the gym ask "Who can't wait for their kids to go back to school?" It breaks my heart that a lot of women cheer and laugh about it, it's not funny to me. I've been having such a hard time too, the darn PMS has really hit me hard lately and I haven't been very nice to people, to my son, or to God, but thankfully that time is over and I'm definitely going to make a doctor's appointment to get that taken care of, I'm tired of being a big meany to my son just because I'm pmsing. Anyways, I hope that as you read this you are starting to feel better. =)

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

awwww... becky... (((hugs))) i am praying for you tonight... that God will give you rest, refreshment, peace, a time of quiet and stillness... sometimes seasons of any kind can be crazy. just remember, this is a season, it will pass.

i hope you are reading this with kaish and gary by your side, feet propped up by a warm fire, and enjoying the moment.

the hollie rogue said...

oh this post made me smile--glad you can find the humor in the insanity and hope it slows down a bit and you can enjoy the christmas/new years week coming up! thanks for linking up