Tuesday, August 23, 2011

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

Hat Hair
Yesterday I wrote a post about Kaishon's hair.
My friend Pam left this story about hair in the comments:

My brother is 4 years older than me 
He was a teen in the 70's. 
Bald hair and long hair
You know, when long hair was cool 
(and when "long hair" meant 
anything past your ears, pretty much). 
Curly hair
My dad was a "Greatest Generation" man 
and he thought that my brother 
should have a flattop haircut. 
Even when my brother was 16 
and all the other boys had long hair. 
Snazzy hair
Hair was something they could not agree on.
They fought about hair.
It was not worth the hurt and anger...never. 
Hair created a chasm between them 
that they never could bridge. 
Soccer hair
When my dad was hit by a car and died, 
my brother wept 
because he didn't know 
if Dad knew that he loved him. 
And a lot of that grief was caused by hair. 
Kaishon hair
NEVER, EVER, EVER, FIGHT OVER HAIR. 
lots of kid hair
It grows back. 

Barbie hair
It changes color.
Summer hose hair
It disappears (my brother is now bald, just like my dad). 
Baby hair
NEVER let hair get in the way of love...

Golden hair
Pam blogs at Life by the Creek.
Her facebook fan page can be found here: 
Please be her fan.
I get sort of sad that there are so many people who are stingy with their facebook likes.
I want to shake them. : ) 
In a nice and friendly way of course!
I try to like someone's facebook page every day.
It sure doesn't hurt me...and it sure encourages them.
If we can't encourage others, what is our problem?
Seriously. Think about it.
Be nice. Be kind. Be encouraging.
Buzz. Buzz.

51 comments:

Jade @ Tasting Grace said...

What a poignant story! I think that's one that will sit with me for a while.

And Becky, consider me shaken (in a nice way, of course!). It's a good point you make about encouraging others. I'll start clicking that Like button more often now, starting with Pam. :)

Brian Miller said...

nope not over hair...nothing as superficial..love is far too important...

CJ said...

Aw...I just wish there were more people like you in this world. This rings so true for me today. Why some things are so much more important to people. So true.

Tracy P. said...

I cannot believe you could get all of those hair pictures together in one day's time. They are fabulous!! That is such a touching story. We could all take the word "hair" out of it and replace it with something we should never let come between us. What a great reminder!

Pumpkin Delight (Kimberly) said...

Ohhh, that one just broke my heart. So true! So often we let the little things come between us and the people we love. This is a good reminder.

photowannabe said...

I agree, never fight about hair. It grows back, it falls out, it gets messy but its not what life is all about.
Lets love our family and friends instead.
Good stuff Becky. Love your pic. of your Hubby and you (or is it your Sis? Just wondering. I like it either way. (:0)

M said...

Very true about hair...my dad didn't want me to be a "hippie" so I had to have short hair...I was a little girl who just wanted braids and pig tails...with ribbon or yarn tied to them. I love Kaishon's hair!!

Grat pics- the one with the water coming out of the hose is awesome!

lazyclick said...

Very cute images of kids.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

My son went through a long-hair phase in middle school. It didn't bother me at all. His father hated it.
It's just hair; as you said...it grows back, it can be cut, one day it falls out....it's just SO not important in the grand scheme of life.
Love this post and the beautiful pictures that accompany it!

Pieces of Sunshine said...

Beautiful and meaningful post. Thank you.

Leslie: said...

Oh man, you have taken me back to the day when my Dad threw me down the stairs when he saw my hair put up in rollers turned under - he always said turned-under hair was a pageboy and that style was for boys! Imagine his ignorance! He caused me and my sisters a lot of grief, to say the least, and I have to say I'm not sorry he's now gone. Wish it could have been sooner. Thanks for being #75! Appreciate your comments always. Hugs.

Leslie
abcw team

Reader Wil said...

Hi Becky! Hair is very important it creates a certain feeling of power. It belongs to you and you only. Parents never agree with your hairstyle. I tried not to meddle with the way my children wore their hair.
Facebook is still a problem with me. I seem to have two accounts and never know which one I should go to.It is also very messy. There are people having conversations on my site, whom I don't know. They don't write to me but to other unknown persons.I prefer blogging.

Roger Owen Green said...

My sister and I had the most inane conversation with my father about whether a third party (Gregory Hines) was showing disrespect by wearing an earring, which he always did, at some NAACP awards event. Conversation went on for an hour and a half with no resolution.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Love Pam's story. Going to check out her blog too. Lovely hair photos.

Chic Homeschool Mama said...

Very touching story- and so well said!

lifebythecreek said...

Oh Becky. You made me cry. In a good way. thank you for sharing my story; if even one person opens their eyes to what really matters, especially with their children, it will be worth it. I heart you in a million ways...

angie said...

As always, I'm inspired by your words and photos.

Dawn said...

it has been far too long since i've sat and scrolled through your beautiful photos. and today, your quote drew me over. guess i've got my own son on my heart today! but truly, your photos are just beautiful. and i have missed this place.

Mighty M said...

I couldn't agree more. What a touching story. Thanks for sharing.

Pix-Ology said...

What a touching story! Hair was a big deal for my dad too...never quite understood it. I'm taking my girls for haircuts on Saturday and myu middle daughter wants a short haircut and I said "" you know daddy really likes long hair" and she said "then daddy should grow his out" well said grasshopper, well said!

Great shots as always!
hugs

freckles & dimples said...

I'm glad your friend wrote that story in your comments, what a reminder to focus on whats really important. have a great week :)
M

Maddy said...

What a story and an important lesson too! Hair is nothing in the absolute grand scheme of things.

Busy Bee Suz said...

What a touching story. I am so glad she shared that with us....perhaps it will change someones mind today.
xoxo

Kayce said...

Such a true story for many. I gave my son a mohawk once and his dad flipppppppped out on me and at my son for letting me do it! I kept having to remind him that hair grows back and our childs hair would not stay in a mohawk forever but he sure thought it would.

Hazel said...

My mom's long hair drives me crazy. It doesn't suit her. She refuses to cut it. I offered her a holiday abroad after her eye operation which I'm going to finance as it's not covered by insurance. She'd rather go blind. Your post just might convince me to let her have her long hair. Moms!

P.S. Thanks for dropping by my nook.

Run DMT said...

Great post and photos to tell your story. I love his hair but then I love shaggy hair, like surfer boys. I haven't cut Liam's hair because I love all the wisps, waves and curls. I'm with you. Embrace it. Because one day it's gone, like our loved ones.

Love Letters To China said...

Love this post Becky! And I love your son's hair too. Whenever I see it in your photos, I get a great big smile on my face. :-)

Sue said...

What a great post, and I agree wholeheartedly.

=)

Carolyn said...

Well put and timely. Just found another grey hair :(

I love that you like other's facebook page, very nice.

Elaine A. said...

I'm not sure I can tell you how much this post rocks my socks for the photos but hurts my heart for her story. What a dichotomy.

Kaishon's hair totally rocks.

And I'm really glad that they have hair color for mine. :)

xo

Colleen said...

I love how you write...and how kind and encouraging you are! If there were more people with a heart like yours, the world would be a happier, brighter place my dear.

helenmac said...

There were hair wars in my family, too. And wars over bluejeans, for heaven's sake! Chris Rock has a great documentary on hair, by the way.
HelenMac
ABC Team

Leesha said...

oh man.. how true is that? Fighting over hair? Been there done that.

Keetha Broyles said...

Hair has been the topic at many an unhappy family discussion.

Jennifer said...

That is an amazing comment and such a true statement. Petty things seem to cause so many problems. Too bad we don't see them as petty until it is too late.

Skeller said...

happy sigh. I'm so in love with all the love & life you're capturing in your images ... it's so obvious to me that eyes behind your camera lens are so full of love themselves!!!

Pradeepa said...

Oh... that's a sad story. Your photos are all adorable.

Deidre said...

My dad and my grandfather had similar issues with hair, and my dad now a 60 something grandfather himself, still has long hair in a ponytail as a little bit of a snub to his dad!

stephanie garcia said...

Such a touching story. It makes you stop and think about what is important. And I love the quote at the beginning of your post!

Barbara said...

It's hard to believe how many parent/child relationships were fractured because of hair. The 60's/70's were a time of rebellion and when you think about how insignificant hair is, in the scheme of things, it makes it seem so petty.
I live by the motto... choose your battles wisely!

Nice post!
b

Rachelle said...

I love what Pam has shared... we fight about haircuts around here all the time... I figure the kids get the final say (so long as it doesn't cause a hindrance in school, who cares). Of course, my son is young, and I don't think he cares what happens to his hair (he just dislikes the barber).

Liz said...

Oh, what an awful feeling that must be for him!

I really love your photos, though, and I love how you tied in all the shots of hair with your story.

I always say, "It's hair, it'll grow". No reason to fuss about it, right?

Kathy said...

I grew up with a mother who always hated my hair. I am now 66 and she is 90 and she still dislikes my hair. She doesn't like it short and she doesn't like it long. She didn't like it brown, she didn't like it chestnut, and now she doesn't like it gray. She doesn't like it straight and always wanted it curly. Unfortunately, it won't hold a curl. In other words, she always wanted it to be something it's not. I've finally given up on her accepting me and my hair for what we are. She has spent far too much time driving a rift between us over something so trivial as hair! I forgive her. I just wish she'd forgive my straight, medium-length gray hair!

P.S. You photos are stunning, as usual!

really.truly said...

You are always so wise. I've missed visiting....been a weird summer. Love, love kaishon's hair. In fact, I saw an add in a magazine yesterday and the boy was his twin. Keep on, keepin' on!!!

Jesselynn @ JQ Photography said...

You really have a way...not just with words but with your photography. This was a really moving post, considering I've never even met you, but I wish I could just hug you right now. :)

Kelly said...

I am so weepy today! That totally broke my heart.

Rhi@FlourChild said...

Thanks for visiting my blog!
I totally agree re. the hair. Though I was very very sad when my three year old cut her own hair, leaving huge big bald patches in amongst her beautiful long curls that had never been cut. Can laugh about it now, though she still can't wear her hair up properly!! ;)
Your son's hair is gorgeous, and good on you for letting it be.
Rhi x

Adrienne in Ohio said...

Oh, my word. I have the biggest lump in my throat. How very, very sad! I never planned on making a big deal about hair with my boys because I agree that it grows back. But this advice could go for so many other minor things that parents have a tendency to go nuts over. I'm promising myself right now not to make an issue out of the small stuff!

Thank you for sharing Pam's story. (She's one of my favorite people in the whole wide world.)

Eleanor said...

Wow, thought provoking post. And as always, wonderful photo's.

Tumblewords: said...

A touching truth. As always, the photos are superb!

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