Tuesday, May 10, 2011

the loss of a child

Last night I yelled at Kaish.

Yelled.
He wants an ipod
like Casey
and Riley
and Jonathon have.
He didn't ask for one for Christmas
or his Birthday
and there hasn't really been an ipod worthy occasion since then.
So anyway, he borrowed my iphone
because all the kids are playing this game
{Smurf-something-or-other}
and he just LOVES this game.
He can't live without it...
or so he says.
So, he borrows my phone and the kids are playing outside on the steps.
Sitting there, all 4 of them, playing this game.
Somehow the phone drops.
The phone says SIM card missing.
Kaish thinks he has lost the SIM card.
They all crawl around the steps looking.
They can't find it.
He comes to tell me.
Now, he could care less 
that all of my contacts are gone.
The calender has been deleted.
The pictures are missing
Etc. Etc. Etc.
He cares that his game playing has been halted.
So I yelled.
I said ridiculous things like
'You are irresponsible.'
'You break everything.'
'I could get fired because all my contacts are gone.'
Don't worry, my yelling didn't phase him.
(That is a bad thing since obviously I yell too much)
He said he was sorry.
Then I made him take a shower.
Which is the ULTIMATE punishment to Kaishon.
(just trust me!)
So, then we read and head off to dreamland.
Right before bed I see a clip on the news about an Amber alert.
A child has gone missing.
In.Our.Town.
Souderton.
Souderton is small.
She is 9 and she is in the 3rd grade.
My heart stops beating.
Tears come pouring out of my eyes.
I hear a helicopter overhead.
I pray.
And pray.
This morning I woke up with swollen eyes.
Gary sends a text that says she was killed.
9 years old and murdered.
I shouldn't have yelled about the stupid SIM card.
Please pray for this family.
My heart breaks for their loss.

(Questioning)

81 comments:

Bombchell said...

wow HOW SAD!! a 9 year old child. I hope they find out who did such a thing

Mark said...

All you did was yell. Don't beat yourself up over that.
Your Friend, m.
Prayers being sent.

The Incredible Woody said...

My heart just breaks for that family...

Jen said...

This should not happen to children. It just should not.

Jim said...

What a shame!
Puts 'things' into perspective I bet Becky. Take care. And don't be too hard on yourself!

Anonymous said...

Your poem made me cry. I am a parent of two...one of whom is a teenager and I can totally see doing the same thing you did about your sim card. Thank you for putting this in perspective for me. God Bless you and all of our children. God Bless Skyler and her family.

Mom of M&Ms said...

Praying for Skylar and this family..and praying for your community.. I have a 9 year old.. and I yell.. too much.. and I waited me whole life to be a mom... I usually talk to my girls after I yell.. I hope that by asking for their forgiveness and for all working on better ways to handle things, They learn that, 1. I am not perfect, and 2. Forgiveness is healing!

Meryl said...

OOOH what a powerful post. My condolences to Skylar's family and your entire community. Quite sobering isn't it.

Bevy said...

I know. I've been on edge all day.

This is too close to home and I blogged today about this as well.

It's a heavy thing to understand. I don't.

Brooke said...

how incredibly sad. :(

Mommy Lisa said...

Oh NO! How horrible. But we all do things like that, yell at the ones we love and think better about it later. Forget things, etc.

Give him extra hugs and you will feel better.

Kayla Sue said...

How very, very heart breaking :( I hate that it takes tragedies like these to remind us of what we have. Life is precious!

lifebythecreek said...

Oooh no. I saw that on the news, and didn't realize that it was so close to home for you. Innocence gone, a life.. gone. Peace.. gone. But God is there, in the middle of it all. He certainly didn't want this to happen, but evil is a part of this fallen world. We will pray... for Skyler's family, for all of the people in your town, and for God to somehow change a heart that could be dark enough to do this.

Mari said...

You are just a normal Mom - there are none of us who don't ever yell. (And losing the Sim card would do it to any mom!)
However - finding out something like this does get our priorities straight. Very sad!

Colleen said...

:( Oh no...

stephanie garcia said...

Oh how my heart aches to read this ...

dana said...

this really really made me think!!

really.truly said...

Oh girlfriend, I have chills....and tears. I heard about that little girl. Oh, so incredibly sad. I yelled at my boys today too. They were bickering, so I had to get in on the bickering(sort of) Ugh! Extra hug kind of day :(

xxoo!

kneesandpaws said...

On my knees.

R Montalban said...

That is so tragic, I cannot imagine what that family are going through, and never do. I just hope that they find whoever did this and that no other child is harmed. I hope that the family find some form of peace and I know this will be hard to do. Most of all, I hope the poor child is safe in heaven, and that she knows she was loved, and that her life, although short, was one treasured, and I that her death was quick and without pain as to imagine it prolonged just does not bear thinking about. May whoever did this get their just punishment, and my thoughts and prayers and most of all sorrow are with her and her family. RIP little Skyler this should never have happened to you or any other child.

themrs said...

i'm a yeller too :( sometimes i need something like that to tap me on my shoulder and say "bask in the blessing of these children". will pray for those poor people. and hug my babies just a little tighter...

Maggie May said...

Thats really sad.
We all get cross with our young ones sometimes. They can try our patience to breaking limit...... but to really hurt one and take away life..... that is beyond words. Despicable.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Leesha said...

oh no, a parents worse nightmare!! :(

Alex said...

Wow, how horrible. We really must appreciate the people in our lives. My thoughts go to the family.

sophie...^5 said...

This parent/child scenario happens all the time so don't beat yourself up. The horror of the other story helps to put everything into perspective.Give Kaishon a hug and tell him...just because!

Jennifer said...

It really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? I will pray for the family, Becky.

Lisa said...

Oh! My God! I'm praying! How could that be????

You love your son. You yelled at him? Big deal! May you always have him to drive you just a little nuts. :)

I'm crying for this family...really I'm crying and praying. How could someone kill a 9 year old? I just don't get it Becky...sigh

xoxo! lisa

Dina @ 4 Lettre Words said...

Trust me when I say that I know exactly how you felt. Saying a prayer for us and all of the moms that ever feel guilty...

Shey said...

oh Becky, this post has it's sad part but let me tell you I giggled about the ultimate punishment that is so funny! My son's ultimate punishment is not allowing him to read...but that never works because there are books E-V-E-R-Y where in the house. I also yell a lot(yikes!). Today I spoke with him though and before we leave the house I pray for him. It's horrible what this world is comming to, so sad that there is so much evil. =/

Our Beaten Path said...

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like my boys liek their daddy more because I'm the yell-er in the house. I know what its like to wake up feeling guilty also. Just know you aren't the only one....My heart breaks for the family who lost their daughter too. Tragic. :(

Our Beaten Path said...

....and I should have said-Thank you for being so honest in your post.

Gigi said...

My heart is bleeding for this family. No one should ever have to face the loss of their child - by any means - but particularly to violence.

Roger Owen Green said...

It's easy to yell in the moment - my daughter says I'm FUNNY when I yell (swell) - so don't be too hard on yourself.

Sad story.

ROG, ABC Wednesday team

myevil3yearold said...

I was so agreeing with you and then you smacked me right in the face with some perspective. I'll squeeze mine a little tighter tonight while we pray for this family.

Tamar SB said...

Oh my word. I am so sorry foe your towns loss. My heart and thoughts are with you!

Tamar

TheHouseWifeRookie said...

My heart is breaking for the family that lost that little girl :(

Rachelle said...

I'm going to hug and kiss my kids right now... prayers go out to the family and the community. Heaven is blessed to have a new angel, but this is not the way.

Sylvia K said...

My heart is aching for her family! How can and why do these terrible things happen to the most innocent among us?? A new angel indeed, but definitely not the way it should have happened. Hugs to you and Kaishon!

Sylvia
ABC Team

urban muser said...

wow, what a sad story, my heart goes out to that family. kind of puts things in perspective i guess...

Buckeroomama said...

My heart breaks for this family, B. So, so sad and so not right! I'll keep her family and your community in my prayers.

Marla said...

God has a way of showing us what is really important. That poor family. I am praying for them all. :(

Marla @ www.blueskiesphotoblog.com

Skeller said...

so totally love these sweet slice of life images and your quirky story-telling gift :-)

Lori said...

I am so sorry. I have already prayed for this family and for you...I cannot imagine the hell they are going through right now. When my now grown son was stolen when he was quite little but found within a short time I got a good taste of the horror. As parents, we all yell on occasion. We make mistakes. The important thing is making it right when we do. It keeps us humble. Love and hugs my friend...PS I've missed you. XX

Skeller said...

oh dear. i have no words.

but i think i need to go hang with my boys for a bit...

Anita Johnson said...

There are no words for this kind of loss. I will pray for her family tonight.

GayleV said...

Such a heart-breaking story! It is amazing how tragedy really brings clarity about what is important and what isn't. I wish it was easy to remember those things in more ordinary moments. It truly is hard. I love your words and images! So touching!

Diana...aka...MeMe said...

Who does this? Who takes an innocent child and hurts them? Praying for Skyler and her family. 9 years is just not enough time.

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

so many prayers for that family. and that justice WILL be served. xo

keli [at] kidnapped by suburbia said...

okay, a little munchkin hit "enter" before i was done. *ahem*

on the other hand ... do not beat yourself up over the yelling, becky.

just the other day, i was thinking about how tired i am from getting up with the sick girls all hours of the night. and how much i wish this cold would just go away. and how much i hate sucking snot and catching puke and ... and ... well, you know.

and then i started beating myself up because there are kids out there that have cancer. terminal diseases. mental diseases.

but in reality, having two sick kids at the same time really sucks. and i have to tell myself that it's OKAY to be sad and tired and upset and hurt. or then i end up feeling WORSE for being honest about my feelings.

their tragedy doesn't mean that we should all quit disciplining our kids for being careless. it just means we should hug them tighter and show them that we love them no matter what they do to our iPhones or our dishes or our eyeglasses.

XO

Kay L. Davies said...

Terrible for the little girl's family, terrible for the town. Also terrible timing for you...guaranteed to make you feel guilty.
I'm sure Kaishon knows how much you love him, because we all know you do.
And "somehow" the phone got dropped probably means "someone" dropped it. LOL
We'll all be praying for Skyler's family.
— K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

Wanda said...

Oh sweetie - I'm so sorry. What a way to learn perspective.

Hugs,
W

Susan said...

Oh no...my heart is broke too. How tradgic.

Praying now...

Casey said...

I read the posts you had on fb about this tragedy and I am just heartbroken for her and her family and friends. I just can't wrap my head around that type of evil in the world. I'm so very, very sorry.

Please don't beat yourself up over being emotional with your son. I do this too on occassion even though I wish I didn't. But I know my children know how much I love them. And would do just about anything to keep them safe.

Sending prayers.

M said...

That just sucks...my friends son is 9 and dying of cancer...in his last days...life is so precious...and we get so caught up in our daily muck. I just can't imagine...

Kayce said...

I have been keeping that family in my prayers and thoughts all day. The heartbreak is overwhelming and I will never, ever understand why things like this happen to a child. Hug your boy and have him give you a hug back from all of us. xoxo

Donna said...

Oh my gosh! That does put things into perspective, huh. How can our world be so beautiful and so horrible at the same time? My heart breaks for the family of that child. They're living my worst nightmare.

Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!

Caroline said...

OMG...tragic. So tragic. It's so heartbreaking when such horrible things happen to children. Breaks my heart. I will pray for her family.

Now listen, don't be so hard on yourself either. I would have yelled too. You are still a wonderful Mom. I yell too...over even more silly things.

xo

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness, how devastating :( That poor family.
Don't be too hard on yourself, we've all been there, big hugs to you xx

Formerly known as Frau said...

Becky my heart aches with you. Sometimes motherhood is a knee jerk reaction and the fact you realizes this makes you a great Mom. I'm so sadden at the tragedy in your small town. Prays for the family and lil girl.

*Jess* said...

oh my goodness, that is just awful :( I will never understand why things like that happen to little kids. My daughter is 9 and in 3rd grade and I would just die if anything happened to her.

Don't beat yourself up about the yelling. I have to admit that I'd be pretty pissed, too!

Grandma J said...

This puts everything in perspective for sure. Praying for the family of that poor child. There are too many evil people out there who target our children...so sad.


Maybe your sim card got dislodged? Mine did that once.

(((hugs)))

TechnoBabe said...

What a sad tragic horrible thing for this family to try to endure. I just do not know where the strength comes from for families who have to go through things like this. So sad.

Tisha said...

my heart is broken for her family.

Erika B said...

That is just absolutely heartbreaking.

Erika B

hahai.ponce said...

a sad story...questions won't stop...all we can do is pray for her soul and that justice be upon her.

Anne U said...

Very sad. I can't imagine how that must feel.

lifebythecreek said...

I've been reading this story with new eyes, knowing that this happened so close to someone that I love. And realizing that it COULD have been one of the beautiful children in your photos, could have been a child at O'Doodles, could have been someone that Kaish knows. I am a big supporter of law enforcement, but right now, all I can think is that somebody REALLY dropped the ball. How could they not be watching this man after he brought that little girl and her friends in, let them see pics of naked women, and asked if they wanted to see his "bird"? Oh Becky... push them hard. MAKE them do their jobs. They blew this off, and now a precious little girl is dead, and in the most horrible of ways. Rise up.. make your voices heard. For her.

photowannabe said...

Argggh!!!
What can be said? The pain, the tragedy and all of your emotions....
Praying for you, Kaishon and the dear sweet girls family. It certainly does create questions.
Love you Becky.

Comeca Jones said...

Sometimes the spirits step in and reminds us of whats really important.I prayed too.

Charisma said...

How incredibly sad! My heart goes out to this family!

Christina (fivewalkers) said...

Sometimes it's so hard to hold on to hope. I am so sorry for this loss. There are no words (well, I have a few, but they would not be appropriate for a minister's wife to put on your blog)...I pray for justice. And mercy.

Love Letters To China said...

Oh Becky... I'm so sorry to hear of such a horrific crime to a 9 yr old. What is going on in this world we live in? Don't be so hard on yourself. We all yell at our kids when our levels of frustration peak. I'm definitely one of them. Your son knows you love him with all your heart and soul.

I just said a prayer for Skyler's family....

xoxo

Courtney Walsh said...

oh my goodness. :(

Your post is amazing but I'm so sad about little Skyler. I have a ten year old daughter and my heart just breaks thinking of it... thinking of someone doing this to a child.

praying.

and I sometimes yell. In fact, I yelled this morning because everyone was melting down at the same time. Sometimes I feel like it's the only way they'll listen. And I always regret it.

Powerful reminder here today...

April said...

This absolutely gave me goosebumps, Becky! Even though we're facing a difficult time right now, we still have each other...THANK GOD! I am so shattered every time I hear on the news about a young child losing his or her life...especially at the hands of someone else. I will definitely be praying HARD! One more thing, please don't beat yourself up too much about losing your temper with Kaishon...you are HUMAN! It's happened to me and to about every one I know at one time or another. Everything is going to be just fine.

jennykate77 said...

That is awful...so so sad. I hate that. My heart breaks for the family and all effected. Praying for everyone who loved Skyler.

Beth P. said...

Oh gosh. What an awful way to gain some perspective - it always seems to find us when we are least expecting it. I am so sorry for the family of that little girl.

jb newcomb said...

This made me cry...because I yell too much too...and then you hit me with the bomb....so sad. I have no idea what I would do if I lost one of my babies.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Heartbreaking. Such unbelievable sadness. Kaish will get over you yelling...and you will too.
Prayers for the family.
xo

debi9kids said...

omgosh. how awful and heartbreaking.

but, don't punish yourself for being human, getting mad, and just living normal life.
Trust me, I have had to remind myself of this over and over as some of my friends have lost their children to cancer....

Gerri said...

Bless her and her family. I can't imagine...
Bless you, forgive yourself, sometimes our passion oozes out before we have the chance to pretty it up first. Much love and hugs to you.

Casey Freeland said...

Oh, I am so sorry. Please don't feel guilty. Only appreciate as you do. A heavy lesson for all of us parents. The whole thing makes me feel so helpless.

Casey