Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Oh No! Mothering Lessons!

      wordishwednesday Lessons Learned By A Mother 

betsy and brooke 4


1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house four inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.arobin 048
6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock, even though a 36-year-old man says they only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. Certain Lego's will pass right through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.betsy and brooke 1
11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.baby brooke 2
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.baby broke!
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
baby brooke 1!

52 comments:

theTsaritsa said...

Oh no, who put Jell-O in the pool? That sounds like a disaster!

Jabacue said...

Every Mom should have these posted on the fridge!!!
Jim

SarahinSC said...

These things always make me laugh! I can say with certainty that a few of them are actually true!

Brian Miller said...

you realise i am probably going to try some of these now...smiles.

Farmgirl Paints said...

oh no....

Lovin' those baby eyes. SO SWEET!

Sylvia K said...

I agree -- every Mom should have this on the fridge!! This is one of those times when I'm delighted my kids are grown, although I have to admit, they were extraordinarily well behaved as kids. But then I had four in five years, they didn't have a lot of choice with their school teacher mom! Delightful post as always! Hugs to you and Kaishon!

Sylvia

Roger Owen Green said...

if i had had a ceiling fan as a kid, undoubtedly, i'd try playing baseball!
ROG, ABC Wednesday team

Tumblewords: said...

These are so scary I laughed - hysterically! An outstanding post and superb photos!

Debbie said...

Oh, I love this post! These are the lessons only experience can teach you.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

Mothers should NOT post these on the refrigerator, because children of all ages might want to try these theories firsthand.

Did you know that not all Legos flush? And that if you play with Legos in the tub and and put them away wet along with some popcorn kernels, you'll get plants and mold?

A carpet stain made my covering a 3 year old naked body in Country Crock and rolling on the carpet produces a stain that can't be removed.

Calling 911 and hanging up just to see what happens will cause a frustrated employee to call you back.

Pulling a fire alarm at the Community Center causes senior citizens to move really fast.

Putting a spitball in your ear to hide it from the teacher results in a trip to the ER to remove said spitball.

Using your sister's bright blue nailpolish as pretend eyeshadow is not a good thing.

Eating a Christmas light off the tree after watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas will get you a ride in an ambulance.

Just some of the Mother Lessons I've learned with The Boy around.

M said...

Ha! Love this.

Matty said...

These are obviously true stories. But my one question is, you weren't the one who learned all of these yourself, were you? My goodness. And I would love to know where you got all of these. They're hilarious.

Ashlee said...

lol I had water beds growing up and I remember when my sister and I decided to stab it to see if there were fish in it like we had seen on that movie, "A goofy movie"

I thought my mom was going to kill us lol

This post made me laugh :)

Modesty is Pretty said...

Also add that fish do not eat yogurt, if your 4 year-old was eating yougurt and he's very quiet go check on him, he might be swirling his spoon in the fish tank which is full of yougurt by the time you get there.

Also remind your kid not to try to read while his taking a shower, books do get wet you know!

Those are some lessons I learned with my boy. =D

lifebythecreek said...

Ahhh... these are the posts at which you excel, my dear friend. I've seen these before, and they were funny. But when you add your stunning photos, they come alive. :<)
And btw...
Daddies should never, EVER be allowed to toss small children up in the air in rooms with ceiling fans.
Boys who INSIST on touching burners just to "see if they're hot" WILL eventually burn their hand.
If you confuse Desitin and mint toothpaste, someone WILL get very agitated. And in one case, their breath will smell like fish oil. In the other, their posterior will burn like fire.
Not that I have personal knowledge of any of these things OR of a myriad of bug, lizard and snake trivia. Not me. Nope.

Gail said...

Love them all!!! fabulous post and pics!

Audrey @ TheDailyWyatt.blogspot.com said...

Ha ha What a GREAT POST! ha ha haha... love it

Autumn said...

LOVE it! Very good advice ;) Love the blog and will be sure to visit often!

Kim said...

Oh my goodness - that was sooo cute! Kids, they always make for good writing don't they? Your photos are always magnificant!! Thank you for always making me smile inside with your posts.

Wanda said...

Where did you find these? Wow, outrageous. And that baby!!!!! My goodness - she's edible. (Not really!)

Happy Wednesday sweetie!!

Angela said...

Love all these - especially this one! Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
I could add "Yelling see ya later c*ck, see you later c*ck, see you later alligator" in front of kindy teachers makes your mum go bright red!

Anita Johnson said...

I knew I was saving those dust bunnies for something. Now where are our roller blades?

Carolyn Ford said...

What a VERY clever post! This is so great and wonderful photography to accompany it too!

Serline said...

What revelations! Guess I am fortunate I have not had personal lessons on half of these ;-P

Ann said...

Childrens' photos are so cute.

Raymonde said...

Do you know all these from experience!!! Oh my, they are funny! That baby is so cute, I want to eat it!!! Take care. xxx

Sarah Halstead said...

Ha ha! Too funny. Hope you haven't experienced all of these. Great pictures too.

justine said...

your lessons did make me laugh, what a great list and I love all your photographs.

Gigi said...

We've all learned a few bizarre random things as mothers! Thanks for the laugh so early in the morning.

Erika B said...

Ha, ha...all good things to know! Great photos as well.

Erika B

Busy Bee Suz said...

Live and learn...some lessons take a long time to learn. :)

Formerly known as Frau said...

I really hope you have experienced none of this and it all happen to your brother or sister! heehee!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL. I would like to have that baby in the polka dots. Thank you.

Maddy said...

Oh no!! I think you frightened me away from "mommyhood" for good with this post!

Freckles & Dimples Photography said...

ha! i feel for the poor mom who was able to come up with this list, but thank her in advance....
have a great day :)

Sherri @ Luv a Bargain said...

These are all SO true! Although I can honestly I didn't know about pools and jello or dizzy earthworms :)

Your pictures are just stunning!

Jack said...

I will neither confirm nor deny firsthand knowledge of these things from my own youth.

Michelle said...

Oh my goodness, those lesson's made me laugh out loud.

Just Bits and Pieces said...

Gorgeous photos....ALL of them! There's something about the puddle jumping one though.....you captured it so perfectly!

April said...

Those were AWESOME and HILARIOUS all at the same time! That last picture tickles my funny bone! PRECIOUS!

The Blonde Duck said...

Forget uh-oh. When it gets quiet in my house, you know there's trouble!

Christine said...

these are all so great! and the lessons are oh so perfect!

Faith Hope Love Photography said...

These are all great...love the photos!!

Fresh Mommy said...

Hahaha, loved this!! Made my day! And thankfully, I haven't had to learn too many of those first hand! :) Hope you're having an incredibly blessed week.

~Tabitha

Julie said...

Oh, Please tell me you haven't personally experienced all of these things!! I'm sorry! ;)

Angie Muldowney said...

These are so funny, and i love the photos so much! :)

mamamia said...

this was hilarious! Thank you for making a mom's day. Now, I just wish that I knew the story behind each one of these ;0)

These Three Kings said...

hahaha! I smile every-time I visit..soo much life represented here. Love the pics!!

helenmac said...

I love the new way to paint a room!
Great post, many thanks for the many smiles!
Helen Mac, ABC team
And the photos are super, too!

photowannabe said...

Everything aboutthis post is just delightful. I luv those sweet pictures. What eyes...what compositions.
Too funny but probably a bit too true....

Siobhan said...

Love the mother lessons..hahaha made me smile thanks for sharing...and as for the pictures...one Word "BEAUTIFUL"

Liz said...

LOL! Those are good to know!