Tuesday, October 19, 2010

gay

last night at supper kaish saidgay11            ‘my friend wouldn’t talk to me all day today.

i kept trying to talk to him and he wouldn’t talk to me.gay

on the bus he told me to ‘come here’

and then he whispered to megay1

“so and so said you are gay.”

i said “i’m not gay. why did he say that?”

and then my friend said

‘he said you wear gay sneakers and glasses’

gay5

i didn’t know what to say.

my heart hurt all of a sudden.

truly hurt.

Kaish seemed so sad that his friend wasn’t talking to him or playing with him all day.

i said

‘how do you feel about that?’

Kaish said, “I’m not gay. I love my black and white sneakers. I think my glasses are cool.”gay2

I said “I don’t think your friend is a very good friend for not talking to you or playing with you just because someone else said that about you.”gay6

Kaishon said “I want to beat so and so up”

(the one that said he was gay)

I told him violence wasn’t the answer. Ever.gay10

(even though, in my head, i felt like beating so and so up too)

Kaishon said, I think so and so thinks I am gay because when I go to play with my friend I don’t want to play football or basketball.gay3

I said, ‘what do you like to play?’

(even though I already know)

and Kaish said ‘i like to play imagination games.’

i told Kaish that it is ok to be a boy and not play football.

it is ok to be a boy and wear black and white checked sneakers.

it is ok to have orange glasses. or plaid glasses. or pink glasses.

i told him that he is wonderful and special and i love him

no matter what.

no. matter. what.gay7

Kaish said ‘MOM! i really am not gay.’

I said, i think the next time you see so and so,

you should say,

‘it’s ok for me to be different than the other boys in the neighborhood.

it doesn’t mean i am gay.

you shouldn’t spread rumors like that.

spreading rumors and making people feel badly about things is a form of bullying.

i am standing up to bullying.’gay8

kaish told me that was too much to remember.

he said he is just going to say

‘i’m not gay.’

i asked him if he wanted new sneakers?

he said ‘no way.’

i asked him if he wanted new glasses?

he said ‘orange is my favorite color.’

i asked him if he had anything else to talk about.

he said nopegay9

and he raced off to read his book:

I Thought My Soul Would Rise and Fly

The Diary of Patsy, a Freed Girl.i thought my soul how come,

out of all the little boys in the world,

Jesus gave me the very best one? wordishwednesdayABC Wednesday:

N for No way, this did not happen to my baby : (gay4

The Long Road to China

 

 

106 comments:

The Incredible Woody said...

Kids are so mean! I'm glad that Kaish like his glasses and his shoes. I'm glad that Kaish has such a wonderful Mom to instill such confidence:)

richies said...

I'm sorry that Kaishon had to experience that. I'm sorry you had to have that conversation. Our human nature is to hate anyone different from ourselves. That is why I want the nature of Jesus in my life. It is a shame that so many people who claim to be followers of Jesus still cling to the hateful human nature.

An Arkies Musings

Hilary said...

Good for Kaish and good for you. But not so good for the parents who allow their kids to believe that "gay" is derogatory.

Joy Taylor said...

He sounds like a very smart kid! And Mom is doing a great job of raising him with morals!!!! I hope that you are proud of this story.

Brian Miller said...

smiles. sounds like you got a good one...that made me sick in the pit of my stomach...i was going to say kids can be cruel but they learn it somewhere...

Modesty is Pretty said...

Hi i'm going in the same process in school like your son.People say i'm gay just because i'm a bit overweight and start to run laps after school.One of them is actually fat.about this much( ) that much.I think your son should just ignore or next time go to the princepale to stop those rumors and all that gossip about him.=)

The message above was from my son, I told to read your post we have been going through the same thing, every morning when I drop him off at school I pray that God will protect him from the bullies because they bother him so much and it breaks my heart. My son also doesn't not play football or is interested in it, he loves to read and draw so he gets picked on because of that. I will keep Kaish in my prayers every morning too as I drop off my son. I stand with you on this issue. Blessings.

Kimmy said...

Awww...you boy sounds like a great kid!!!! That is wonderful that he is happy with the things he likes and isn't going to change it because some kid is mean. Good for him and what a wonderful mom you are!!!!!! Kid's sure can be mean and it's just terrible. It breaks my heart when kids are mean to my baby girl and it makes me so angry and makes me want to be a kid again so I could be there for her at the moment!

Mari said...

Aaarrrgh! There is too much of this going on. My 12 year old niece had trouble with this last year and yesterday a friend said her daughter came home crying.
I remember my kids going through this too and how it hurt my heart!
Now my heart is hurting for Kaishon and for you. I'm praying for you both.

Sylvia K said...

Kids learn this kind of stuff not so much from other kids but from the adults/parents in their lives. It is sad and it makes me sick to my stomach as well. We create our children in more ways than just giving birth to them. And they are not born with prejudices -- we are responsible for what we create in their minds. Kaishon is the best and you are the best of parents! My love and hugs to you both!

Sylvia

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

You are teaching Kaish to be the stronger one. The So and So that's saying that is insecure and jealous that Kaish has the self confidence to wear what he wants and how he wants. He is an independent thinker and a leader. It's So and So who has the issue. I would've told Kaish exactly what you did. Even if it is squashed, there will always be someone who will be mean and hurtful. It's just how he handles it each time. You're a great mom for instilling in him the ability to freely think for himself.

Gigi said...

This really hurt my heart too! Kids are so mean and thoughtless. I think your response was great - you are raising your son to be a free thinker and independent. He doesn't feel like he has to "run with the herd." That will do much for him in the long run.

Marilyn said...

Kaishon is my hero! What a mature attitude he has. I'm just so, so glad he wants to keep those shoes and glasses. You have done an amazing job with him. Way to go to both of you!

Farmgirl Paints said...

I'm so sorry. This having kids business is hard. It's like I wear my heart out of my chest for just anyone to step on. I know you would do anything to protect him...as I would mine. Just pray God gives you wisdom with how to handle the situation. Sending some hugs your way.

Formerly known as Frau said...

I'll hold the kid and you beat him up okay! Seriously I hate this bullying going on in today's schools its so wrong. Why aren't all parents talking to their kids. Your son rocks I love his glasses and I'm sure his sneakers are too cool for school! hang in there Becky but I got your back if you need help!

Kristina P. said...

Kids really are so mean. And if even he were gay, so what?

Skeller said...

I love Kaish. He's got his head screwed on right (I'm sure that's got a lot to do with YOU!) - I love that he still loves his shoes and his glasses!!!

y2krust said...

Do you remember the play BBC did called The Boys Next Door? It was about mentally handicapped people and there was a quote on the poster that said, "Sometimes being a little different means being a lot more wonderful." I never forgot that quote. It's so true! Also, God loves each and every person He created regardless of their issues or orientation or preferences. He simply desires that we trade all of our human nature for a new nature and TRUE freedom in Christ. Kaish is the luckiest kid alive to have you as a mama. :-) Tell him a missionary to Berlin, Germany is proud of him. I wish he was in my youth group.

Bec said...

What makes me really sad is that the more gay culture becomes a part of the main stream the more heated the debate comes. So, while it is great that all kinds of different people are being given more oppurtunities, it also breeds more hate. People are so afraid to deal with something that is different. I don't like how mean kids have become. I'm glad Kaishon is such a cool kid.

SarahinSC said...

Oh my! We had almost this exact conversation last week with my nine-year-old. A neighbor boy called him gay. I asked him if he even knew what that meant. He did. Our conversation went down almost identically to yours (right down to the part about violence when in my head I was punching the kid in the face). What I want to know is how in the world would a child know to call someone gay? Someone taught them that somewhere on down the line. Why do we have to call names to anyone, ever?

Deep in the Heart of Happy said...

I am just so sorry. This absolutely breaks my heart. I want you to tell K for me, that yes, he is the coolest of cool. People like Bill Gates are where they are today because they took a different path than the ones too busy ruining everyone elses day. I applaud you and your son.

God indeed blessed you.

You're doing a great job, Mom!

Colleen said...

You're such an awesome mom... that's why you have such an awesome kid!
You tell Kaishon that I LOVE his orange glasses! They're totally cool.

Ky said...

You handled that beautifully. You are such a good Mum! He is a very lucky boy to have you lead him through his childhood. You are also very lucky to have him cos he is just one of the coolest kids evah!!!

Mighty M said...

I wish people could be accepted and loved for who they are, whatever that is. I long for the day bullying and incessant teasing can stop - I hope that day is possible.

FootPrints said...

that post was...i dont know the word i'm looking for...sad. what he said made your heart hurt because that kid was spreading hate. it's awful. hate is awful.

tell kaishon that hundreds of people RIGHT HERE think he's perfectly himself.

Oh and i'm glad to do the beating up for you...

The Sanchez Family said...

You really did handle this AMAZINGLY well. You are the PERFECT mama for your boy!

Artemis Clover: The real L.A. love story. said...

ugh i'm happy to be out of those days! people are still mean but at least we can respond better now. what a good mommy! your son is very lucky!

Gramma Ann said...

You have done a good job of giving him a good foundation to stand on. I think it is so great that the two of you have such an open communication. And how you reasoned with him but still left him make the final decision of how he would handle the situation. He is a beautiful child, I can see why you are so proud of him.

Buckeroomama said...

Kaish is so blessed to have a mommy like you. And hurrah for Kaish (and you!) for keeping his head and not wanting to change his sneakers and glasses just because someone says they're not cool.

photowannabe said...

I love the way you talk to Kaishon and I absolutely love how grounded he is in his own skin.
Were things this difficult when I was young???

I really don't know but I don't even think I knew what a "gay" person was when I was his age.

Keep on doing what your doing with that wonderful son that God gave you.

jen@odbt said...

Hugs to you and Kaish. You handled it so well.

Jason, as himself said...

See? This is the kind of thing that HAS TO STOP. Whether gay or not, kids who are different get picked on.

You are a wonderful mommy. Kaishon is in good hands.

Roger Owen Green said...

it's infuriating stuff, and it's difficult to stop - you are doing your best!

ROG, ABC Wednesday team

Wanda said...

No child should have to experience what Kaishon did, but you handled it with wisdom and grace. You have a wonderful son...a lot of that is due to his mom! Loving you!

Miss Wanda

I too am so old, I wouldn't have had a clue that the word gay meant anything accept happy!

Our kids (my grandkids) life in a tough world.

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

How heartbreaking!! For someone to start a rumor about Kaish, for his friend to stop talking to him b/c of this rumor, and for this rumor to not even be something that should make someone decide not to be friends with you!!

You are such a good Mama, and handled it so well - and what an amazing young man you are raising. He knows who he is - I know many adults that haven't gotten to that point yet!!

Jennifer @ Studio JRU said...

What a sweet child you are blessed with. It is heartbreaking to know that kids can be so cruel. Is sounds like you two had a wonderful discussion... it is nice that he can talk with you about it. Good job mom!! Bless his sweet heart. :)

Ami said...

My favorite part? That he doesn't want to change a single thing.

A young man who is comfortable in his own skin.. and so young to be there already.

Awesome.

Eternal Lizdom said...

I hope that when my time comes to have this conversation with my kids, I remember to focus on those beautiful things like black and white sneakers and orange glasses and imagination games that make them beautiful. I hope I also teach them that part of standing up and doing right is to say "there isn't anything wrong with being gay or straight or black or white or likeing orange or playing football."

Tracy P. said...

Whoa! God gave him to you because he knew that in a moment like this you would know just what to say and when enough was enough. You are awesome!

Busy Bee Suz said...

God knew you deserved the very best boy ever.
I love what you told him...and that is in fact bullying.
I love Kaish.

Jennifer said...

what an awesome little guy! Not letting meanies dictate wht shoes or glasses he wears! I love that he is true to himself as such a young age! Visiting from SITS!

Mom vs. the boys said...

I'm starting to learn how much it can hurt to be a mom. hurt for your children. It sounds like you are doing a great job, he's got a great outlook on things!

Alysha (Supermom) said...

wow... kids are really so mean. I learn so much from you and how you speak to him. It was a great way to approach the situation. Thanks for linking up to Wordish Wednesday. It was great seeing you as my first linker :)

Have a great week.

xo, Alysha

viviene said...

go kaish! wear what you want to wear!

...and yes, Jesus gives us only the best!

glad to find your blog =)

I'm just the MOM said...

oh wow! that hurts my heart too. Kaish is such a great boy! :)

Wanda said...

And how come....of all of the Moms in the world....Jesus gave Kaish the best??!!

xoxo

Sarah said...

oh my word. i have no words!! the lord gave kaish just the right mother when he brought the two of you together. he is so dear! hugs to you and your sweet boy!!

Lori said...

I couldn't help crying as I read this... I can't help it...it makes me sad that "gay" is meant to be a put down or deragatory or as being less than anyone else...it makes me sad that many children get bullied in this same manner day after day. It breaks my flippin heart.

It makes me angry too...makes me want to go to this boy and his parents and set them straight. Makes me want all the bullies in our world to just stop and take a look at what they are doing.

It makes me hapy too...happy that your boy has you to talk to about these kinds of things and that you got the best boy in the world...and happy that he has enough confidence to like his shoes and his glasses, to not have to like playing football and to read the books he wants to read.

It just hurts my mothers heart to hear of any child being treated in this way. I am sorry that he experienced this. I hope Kashion keeps his self confidence and doesn't give it away to some ignorant child that knows how to be mean.
Sending hugs and love your way, XX Lori

Caroline said...

UGH!!! I hate hearing that. But your son is so awesome and smart. Kids can be so mean. I always tell my kids that when people say mean things it's never about you....it's them. Kids who feel bad about themselves pick on other kids to make themselves feel better. It's a vicious cycle. Give Kashion a big hug from me!!!

Tumblewords: said...

How sad! I always thought that when kids grew up they'd be kinder but it seems like some grown ups, too, are meaner in a way I never dreamed possible. Hugs around...

lifebythecreek said...

There's not much to add; the previous commenters have covered it all, almost. The fact that being different means it's OK to torment. The fact that a word can cause so much hurt. The fact that, even if Kaish, or my Adam, or any other boy or girl IS gay means even worse torment and the end result of self-loathing, of hiding who they really are. Did you read the article that I tagged on Facebook, written by Single Dad Laughing, called "Memoirs of a Bullied Kid"? Here's the link: http://www.danoah.com/2010/10/memoirs-of-bullied-kid.html
It helped me to see that those who bully usually do so because they have BEEN bullied. And it usually isn't other kids who have bullied them. It's small, mean, insecure parents who take out THEIR hurt and anger and inadequacy on their kids. Who, in turn, bully ours. It needs to stop. And each of us can help.
Love your Kaish, and I love you. Keep those lines of communication open, always make sure that he knows how much he is loved, and he will come out on the other side as a strong, kind, compassionate man and a wonderful dad. And when you stand in front of God, He will look at you, smile, and say "Well done, Becky, well done...."

Anita Johnson said...

Is there a way we can do a blog friend group hug? Great kid. Great mom. Praying for a better day tomorrow.

These Three Kings said...

Wise Words mom!!! God gave wisdom there. SO sorry this happened. I am so thankful that you were there to provide a lesson in teaching your child what it means to be in the world but not of it. These things because of depravity wont go away..but we can respond to them in ways that wont still our joy! you did just that for him! Way to go!!

Nicole

Raymonde said...

Oh Becky, it is so hard to be a mum sometimes! Our hearts do break and we want to punch and kick the bullies.

Kaishon is blessed he has you. Talking is good. Take care. xxx

Annelie said...

You are such a good mom, and he is such a good boy!
And kids really can get mean sometimes!
But as times goes bye, this will be forgotten, but it still hurts, Ii know.....

Erika B said...

Oh my, children can be so mean to each other. I think you handled the situation perfectly and you have such a beautiful and strong boy inside and out. We try to teach our girls that they should always be themselves at all times and that people are different. Being an adoptive mother it's something you think about a lot. We also try to teach our girls to let everyone else also be themselves and just enjoy the fact that they have all kinds of friends. But some stories that they tell just hurt when you're a parent.

Erika B

Ann said...

these days Gay has become a hurtful word.

Did you watchJamie Oliver in America?

Norah said...

This is so sad... My son has the slip on black and white checked sneakers, and he doesn't play sports...he's into playing guitar and drums. He has a school dance coming up on Friday. He doesn't hang with the cool kids. One came up to him last year and said, " Gene, you have so much potential to be cool but instead you waste it on so and so." I'm glad your son is sticking by his sneakers and glasses! Good for him!

Crown of Beauty said...

Hi...
It is good your son could openly talk to you about these things. And that you knew how to listen to him, and give him affirmation without smothering him! I think you handled it very well.

He has security and confidence because he has you to talk to. It doesn't get all bottled up inside of him.

Thanks for the comments you left at my recent posts! Appreciate your taking the time.

Lidj

Dina @ 4 Lettre Words said...

Awww...this made me cry, B. I'm so glad that Kaish is holding on to his sneakers and glasses. He's such a beautiful soul!

Colleen said...

Oh Becky. Such a hard situation but I think you handled it very well. You spoke wisely to Kaishon and he will grow up into a strong young man with you behind him like that.

amandab said...

So sorry that your son had to go through this. So proud of the way you handled it, and your son knows that it is okay to be himself.

Happy WW.

Lisa said...

Dear Becky,

Boy! This makes me made;(. . .and what to say? I think you said all the right things. You did a great job! It makes me crazy mad to think that little boys even know what gay is. . . I think I would call this kids parents and tell them. Maybe they don't know their son is spreading hurtful rumors. Maybe this kid doesn't even know what gay means.

AND if you decide you want to bet up so and so. I'll take on his dad! Lisa ((Black Belt)) I've got your back!

xoxo, Lisa

Dear Kaishon,

I LOVE orange too! and I think your perfect!

xoxo, Lisa

Tisha said...

wow, that makes me so mad, but you are such a great momma! AND your boy IS amazing! what a beautiful soul. :)

mamamia said...

I feel so sad for Kaishon! I am glad that he isn't going to stop wearing his checked sneakers, or give up his orange glasses. He is one of a kind, and I hope that he knows he IS special. I hope Kaishon's friends know how ot stand up to bullies, too. I would make a note of it with his teacher as well as the parents.

Nurse Nancy said...

I am so saddened by the cruelty of children...you handled this whole thing so beautifully. It is hard to be an individual sometimes but I think it makes for a more wonderful world to live in when we all make our statement. I love the sneakers and the glasses and Kaish is a great kid!

brainella said...

Give that boy a big old hug and kiss for me! He knows who he is, and that is no small feat at his age. You are a wonderful mother, and he is a lucky, lucky boy.

I wish children weren't corrupted by the words and actions of those around them.

Kate in NJ said...

What a world we live in when being your own person is such a threat that it is attacked...((hugs)) for K that he had to learn so early that your best friends don't always "have your back"...I love that heisstaying true to himself!!
You rock Mom!!

Freckles & Dimples Photography said...

I think that the fact he could come to you to talk about this speaks volumes to the type of mom you are. he is lucky to have you! Its so hard when stuff like this comes out of nowhere, it kind of catches you off guard and in an instant you are trying to figure out the right words. well done, my friend.
M

Cindy said...

What a great mom you are, give you a lot credit and Kaishon too to be able to talk to you.
kids are just plain mean & we don't need friends like that. Two thumbs up for you.

Julie {Angry Julie Monday} said...

Beautiful story. I hate the way that kids throw words around these days. My son is in Kindergarten right now and some of the things that these kids say, ugh!

Julie {Angry Julie Monday} said...

Beautiful story. I hate the way that kids throw words around these days. My son is in Kindergarten right now and some of the things that these kids say, ugh!

Maddy said...

Becky, I'll echo what everyone has already said...you are a GREAT mom! Just the fact that K would talk to you about something so hurtful and often times considered embarrassing openly and honestly is a testament to the type of relationship you share. You don't judge, you don't criticize and you're a wealth of love and support! Kids can be so mean these days. I wish those children that committed suicide in the last few weeks had someone to have this same conversation with before they ended their lives so tragically. Someone to tell them that it's ok to be different and they are loved just the same.

Baloney said...

Kids are mean. Something about that age makes them start using that word to hurt others. Someone tried to spread that rumor about my boy last year. Michael doesn't even know what that means.
I'm so glad that the comment didn't make him want to change shoes and glasses.

Sonya said...

It's sad when a person connects being Gay with something horrible. My oldest son came home from school and told me one of their friends came out as being gay. I asked him how he felt about that and he said he was glad that his friend lives in The Netherlands and not the U.S. because here he wouldn't be treated any differently. I would have to agree with that.

Im glad Kaish is able to be just fine with how he dresses and the things he likes to do. The instant someone thinks for themselves they think something is wrong and when they don't do the appropriate activites for that gender then something is wrong aswell. You and Kaish rock : )

Just Bits and Pieces said...

Kids can be terrible. Yay to Kaishon for not wanting to change the things about him that make him unique. I hope my boys & girl can have the confidence to be themselves & like what they like & not follow. And I hope that I can speak to them the way you spoke to Kaishon when they do come to me. You're wonderful! You're lucky to have each other!

jennykate77 said...

Well, that just makes me super sad for Kaish and for you. Boys (and girls) are so so mean. They use such harsh words sometimes and say things that are totally wrong. I'm glad that Kaish just wants to be Kaish...no body else...and that he doesn't want to change just because someone thinks he's different. Him and Isaiah would get along great. He loves to role play and use his imagination. I think it means they're smart. :)

Lisa said...

oh my goodness.....bullying is so insidious and can leave its trail of hurt and stink anytime...anyplace...

BUT to happen to this precious soul....to any soul...but this one, loved by you and so many ~ well, it breaks my heart in new ways.

I think you both handled it beautifully.

((hugs))

P.S. I have been meaning to ask ~ may I add your blog to my blogroll?

Trudy said...

While this is terribly sad, I think you both handled it very well and I am happy that Kaish doesn't feel he needs to change one thing about himself!

It is especially hurtful when this comes from a 'friend' though!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I too have a little boy who does not play sports and is into his own imagination. I love him for staying strong in his convictions.
You are an awesome mama Becky. I love Kaishon and I love you!
<><

Julie said...

I empathize with you completely!! My son sounds a lot like yours. He is so creative and imaginitive..when he picked his glasses he KNEW the moment he saw them. There was no swaying him. Of course, he has been teased for looking "Nerdy"...but he says he doesn't care..he doesn't want different ones. Kids can be so completely mean. It's just not right!! Hugs to you, sweet one! And to Kaishon!!

Kayce said...

Kids are incredibly mean and only get meaner and meaner as the years pass. It's such a sad thing happening in our society. Keep doing what you're doing because it's obviously working beautifully in your son!

I love your capture of Kaishon eating that apple!

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

Kaishon is adorable and cute and you tell him to never stop believeing in himself.

Jabacue said...

I think Kaishon will be fine.....looks who's right behind him.
Jim

Mark said...

Now why wasn't I that cool as a kid?
Your Friend, m.

brittanygodfrey1 said...

Great shots and great advice. I am not ready for those days!!!

Kate said...

I found your site from Pumpkin Delight. I love it. I’m going to poke around a little bit, but don’t worry I’ll put everything back where I found it!!

jeffkny said...

Wow. Children can be heartless, but also so can adults be. But you have great photos and a heart of gold. It sounds like you are a wonderful 'mom'.

Stacey said...

Oh girl, my son is 18 now and a freshman in college. We had the same exact conversation more than once when he was growing up. He's now happily in his niche majoring in music. He answered me confidently just like Kaish. When Tanner was in probably 7th grade he said, "I don't care what they say." He meant it too! It absolutely is hard on boys who don't want to play football....I don't get it. Never will.

Oh, at one point I tried to speak to a dad whose son was being especially cruel. He didn't believe me. Didn't get me anywhere except madder.

Christina said...

Yes, good for him for not wanting to change what he likes because of someone else!
Others have said all that there is to say, really, so I want to add this...
My daughter's favorite color is orange, too! She has orange glasses as well, and I just bought her some crazy bright orange fabric to make a skirt today. I hope they get to meet one day. :)

Christina said...

P.S. I LOVE the book he is reading. How significant. Freedom is a beautiful thing.

Mental P Mama said...

And God gave Kaish an awesome Mom! I feel overwhelmingly sorry for what's his name...what a limited existence he is setting up in his world.

ladyfi said...

Amen to this! Such a wonderful post! Kids get their attitudes from their parents...

Debbie said...

I'm so sorry he had to go through that. My sons have all experienced that as well. It always hurts.
He is very blessed to have you to guide him.

kim said...

I'm so sorry your son had to deal with this and that you did as well. This kind of thing makes me so angry and sad inside. I really think that the schools need to have some sensitivity training like big companies have. Kids need to understand that words hurt and more importantly, that everyone is different and they should be allowed to be who they are without being teased or bullied. I like the way you handled it. Your son is beautiful.

Kelly said...

You do have a wonderfully awesome kid!! I'm sorry that he's had this experience, but am heartened that he still wants to be himself!! That rocks!

Kelly said...

You rock too!!

Lori said...

I hope it's okay that I linked to this post in my post today. Thank you for sharing your story. XX

I thought of Kaishon today and prayed that things will be better today. XX

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

What doesn't kill ya will only make you stronger. You handled it so well bec and your son will be better because of it! :D kids can be mean... but I guess it is all part of growing up. I was mean to kids and kids were mean to me growing up but i think it is great to have a mom to talk this stuff over with who is willing to listen. It means so much to him I am sure

The Absence of Alternatives said...

My heart aches for you! This makes me so mad and yes I want to beat somebody up too! You handled it so beautifully (whereas I completely blew up when my son told me that he was called names at school: I was ready to go over as a samurai. or ninja). I am so impressed how K has such a strong sense of self. Yes indeed you have the most wonderful kid in the world! I hope the rumor spreading stops soon. I hope something will soon drastically change in this country that we no longer need to worry about our children being hurt by words at school where they are supposed to be safe. I know it's not possible, or not going to be soon enough. But I have to believe that.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Big sigh. I'm back from vacation and catching up on your posts. This one broke my heart.

But... I think it's fantastic that Kaishon talked to you about what happened at school and the two of you had such a meaningful conversation. It's a sorry shame the bully's parents obviously haven't had one with their son.

xo jj

Making It Work Mom said...

I am sad that your son had to experience this, but I know that it is a childhood reality. I am happy though that he is so confident and beautiful in his own self-confidence that he doesn't need to cave to the peer pressure. Keep on doing what you are doing because you are doing it well.
I have a 10 and an 8 year old and everyday worry that they will be bullied or heaven forbid be the one who is bullying. It is hard.

Teresa Dawn said...

Terrible how mean kids can be but I think it's great that he trusts you enough to be so honest with you. And knowing that you're backing him has more than likely given him the confidence he has to deal with it. Great job!

Sarah Halstead said...

That is so sad. :( I am glad he doesn't let what the other kid said change him.

California Girl said...

Thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving a comment.

Love this post about your son and his encounter with a pain in the ass bullying kid at school. I know how hard it is not to go kick the u know what out of that kid. The bullying issue has certainly become front and center. It's a long time coming.

I also enjoyed your interview with the photographer. Her answers were not what I might have expected. My husband is beginning a photography career. He's more of an artistic/
creative photographer. He doesn't do portraits or weddings but I think he'd like to learn to do studies of people.

erobell said...

kudos on two levels -

1. that you have a son who is able to talk to you about the "tough stuff" like this.

2. that you just helped your INCREDIBLE boy navigate the unforgiving sea of adolesence, choosing with your support and encouragement to proudly be WHO HE IS and not conform:)


You have a really neat kid and your relationship warms my heart.

Aimee @ Ain't Yo Mama's Blog said...

Your son is wonderful and I hope he keeps doing what he's doing and never loses his style or his confidence!

I also hope that kids learn that "gay" isn't a bad word. It's good to stick up for himself to set any rumors straight (no pun intended!) but I think the best retort is - "I know I'm not gay and my family and good friends know I'm not gay...but even if I was, so what?!? Why do you even care?"