Thursday, June 10, 2010

What is a wife to do?????

My friend Jill, the one and only Scary Mommy, posted a sarcastic post yesterday that has a lot of people in an uproar! I totally want my sweet readers opinions on the idea. Truthfully, our marriage could surely benefit from 2 months of this plan…

However, I did send Gary a text message this morning after reading it and ask him if we could discuss our 1 year, 5 year and 10 year plan tonight over his favorite dinner of (what else) McDonalds fast food and his response was not what I had hoped…

He asked if I was smoking crack.  photowalk2 025  Apparently he does not want to discuss any yearly plans. He just wants me to let him eat his McDonalds in peace!

Home Economics - Then and Now

1950 Home Economics

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The following is from an actual 1950s Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life.
1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.photowalk 012
2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

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       3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.photowalk2 009


5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile.
6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.
7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

rebecca

Picture by Rebecca @ the Dusty Cellar
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.
10. The Goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.
Now the updated version for the '90s woman.

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And Now: Present Day

Not written by me! Just posted here for fun!

1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and gives him an opportunity to change your mood.
2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)

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3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and tell her that any miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the Goodwill box in the garage.
4. Prepare the children: Send the children to their rooms to watch television or play Nintendo video games. After all, both of them are from his previous marriages.

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5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the bathroom with the door locked.
6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner; simply remind him that the leftovers are in the refrigerator and you left the dishes for him to do.
7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold. This will really show you care.

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8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.
9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his credit card).photowalk 015


10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only thinks the world revolves around him. Obviously he's wrong, it revolves around you.

photo story friday This is just a light and funny post for a Friday!

Smile : ) and definitely let me know what you think of the plan Jill refers to. I am anxiously awaiting your thoughts.

67 comments:

Mighty M said...

Oh my, this is just wonderful! I can't believe how things were just a few short decades ago!

Karen Deborah said...

great post! there is a saying that goes like this,

"to fail to plan is to plan to fail."

Molly said...

My mom actually teaches what used to be known as "home ec". It's called "family and consumer sciences" now. The stuff they cover has obviously changed. Now they do useful stuff, like budgeting, interview skills, nutrition, how to avoid identity theft, character education, careers...etc" So glad to see we're out of the 1950s! Although that website seemed like it would like to push things back a few decades...

angelmaryy21 said...

Still laughing at the 1950s home ec. LOL!
thanks for stopping by my blog and for the compliment on my pictures :) I will be following you.

asIfrolicThroughLife.blogspot.com

Scary Mommy said...

Love you for posting this. :)

If the plan had been a mutual one, I would not have had an issue with it. Sure, I would have rolled my eyes, but not found it so revolting.

That said, I feel badly about the name calling and insulting. She clearly believes what she's preaching and it's working for her. I bet her husband is the happiest man in town.

But, it still makes me want to hurl.

angelmaryy21 said...

OK, just now saw that you left several comments. Thanks! and, isn't that a great song??! :)

Emily said...

hahahaha! Your version is cracking me up!!! LOVE IT! And I also love that the woman in the video used the word drunkard. That just cracked me up for some reason.
I'm sure my husband would luuuuuuuv it if I tried to be the wife he needs, that would totally interfere with my plans though. lol ;)

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

Ummm yeah, I'm digging the updated version of Home Economics!

I can't believe that old version of how to make your man happy! Clean up the kids before he gets home?? Ummm are they just props fro the husband??

this was hilarious!

Sierra said...

ROLF! My best friend gave me that book as a gag gift (I hope). I love reading it and trying not to expire from laughing!

Linds said...

so funny. I think that those ones from the 1950s book were read on Mona Lisa Smile, one of my fave movies.

Marla said...

Oh my. I think that both sets of rules have their highs and lows. I'm going to be a stay-at-home farm wife... but I love eating out and have a housekeeper as well. I'm torn.

And completely spoiled. :)

Marla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com

Tricia Nugen said...

My grandma always used to tell me "Take care of your man and he'll take care of you! "
We take care of each other home economics or not!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

The 1950s home ec was too funny. I can't imagine that now. Great photos.

stephanie garcia said...

To be honest, I can't find fault with any of the topics of the "Completing Him" challenge. Perhaps I might not choose to participate in such a public way or in group form but several of the recommendations are ones that I know I should be doing more of in my marriage - for instance, asking my husband how I can pray for him and actually DOING it and making him more of a priority (which can be a challenge with five kids at home!)

Although there was some joking about the list of 5 things and having your husband prioritize them, I actually think that it a legitimate way of learning your husband's love language. We're working through the "Five Love Languages" in our married couples' ministry and the truth is that most husband and wives have opposite ways of showing and feeling loved. Depending on the five things you choose, the simple exercise she recommends could be a good way of figuring what his love language is.

Trudy said...

See, now this will probably just sound corny...but I would have done so much better in the 50's. I would LOVE to be that woman! I hate that I have to go back to work.

Great post though, love it!

kris... said...

Awesome post, stunning photos!

Krystyn said...

Hilarious. And, I love the "now" addition. Every time I see these, I cringe. What a different time, right?

Chris said...

That was awesome. And the accompanying pictures are beautiful -- where were the bridals taken? I love that shot between the houses!

warmchocmilk said...

Great photos, great post. I'm heading over to Jill's now :)

Cecily R said...

I would have TANKED if I was from the 50s. I would have been "THAT girl from down the street" (whisper whisper), I know it.

The accompanying pictures in this post are nothing short of AMAZING. Truly.

Sarah said...

Oh my, you always are good for a laugh... and I needed one!

Skeller said...

If I ever had the audacity to suggest Big Dude and I talk about 1/5/10 year plans, he would snort and walk out of the room... I really do believe he'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal than have such a "talk". ;-)

Raise Them Up said...

Lol! You know, there must be a middle ground somewhere on the topic of what's a wife to do. :)

Your pictures are beautiful! I especially like the one of the bride leaning on the wall!

debi9kids said...

OMGOSH! How funny!

Now I HAVE to go to Jill's blog to see what you're talking about! HAVE TO!

latree said...

I like the DON'TS. I have to write it on my mind.
thank you :)

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's hilarious! I can't imagine trying to follow through with those "rules". I'd go nuts even trying.

He Gives Us Manna said...

Nice to meet you!

Frau said...

I would die as a 1950's wife...no thank you! Too funny! I have to say you distracted me with pictures of the handsome eye candy...he is absolutely delish! hee hee!

Sonya said...

Oh man I've always wanted be a 1950's housewife! LOL love love love doing things for my husband and kids. However I have my limits and couldnt imagine being like that all the time.

I think both then and now has it's highs and lows.

Indrani said...

Cleverly chosen pics for the post. :)
well said.

robyn anne said...

beautiful photos! i love the one of the shoes! i have at "thing" about feet pictures! they tell their own story!

Los said...

The one thing I agree with from the first piece is "Don't greet him with complaints." It should be re-written, "Don't greet each other with complaints." It's not a good way to start of the evening.

Buckeroomama said...

I'm so glad I didn't live in the 50s. Just saying.

Buckeroomama said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE all the wonderful photos, Becky! :)

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Times have sure changed! Wonderful pictures as always!
<><

Brooke said...

i would actually be willing to do the 1950s plan if it meant i got to quit my job! curses to the woman who thought she was liberating us by giving us the chore of both bringing home the bacon AND frying it in a pan. not to mention making him feel like a man!

can you believe i'm a fence sitter? i see the absurity in the post, i really do. but i also see how it would be helpful. *puts on dork glasses*

Busy Bee Suz said...

Her post was really funny...silly how some peeps were outraged one way or another.
For me, I plan on making sure I have a fresh ribbon in my hair before husband gets home each day. Surely this is what I have been lacking.

Rebecca said...

Very enjoyable post. Love it.

Mark said...

Okay, this will sound totally strange coming from a Gay Man but I would so love it if I would come home from work and Fred would have the house running like June Cleaver. I would take him out to dinner every night! Every once in a while, he'll have the kids out of the house when I come home and I can sit in silence for about 30 minutes. That is all the vacation I need. Do I sound like a male shovenist pig(a gay one)? I'll admit that I probably am. Our problem is that our roles are reversed. He would rather be out there working and I would rather be at home with the kids and house. So, it causes some tension. Especially when I'm confronted with a pile of laundry at 9PM. I love the fact that one of us is home for the kids, I just wish it was me. I would even learn how to cook and be a "Good Wife". Seriously, I live for structure.
I think I better stop here or your readers are going to totally hate me. Or, hate me more.
What can I say, I long for the days of coming home from school and my Mom always being there. In fact, I think I'll call her now and thank her for her decades of service. It paid off. And I will love her forever for it.
Your Friend, m.

Mental P Mama said...

So funny...but I am obsessed with those purple suede jobs! Must. Have. (With my husband's credit card, of course.)

Lisa said...

Love! Love! Your pictures! and those shoes!!!

Is that your husband??? Nice!! Is he smart too? :)

I want to live in the 50's and be the man!!! sweet!!!!!

I do all those things now for my husband...don't ask him....just believe me...really I do...

I let him the laundry. I let him wash the dishes I'm really very good!

PennsylvaniaBelle said...

I do most of those things, but I am a stay at home mom. I do Not freshen my make-up when he comes home! I am mostly seen with no make-up ponytail and jogging pants! I enjoy cooking for him-mainly cause I like to eat my cooking! I have several friends who don't cook or clean-ever and have very happy marriages. People who talk about wifely duties make me gag!

Nessa said...

The second set of do's and don't's is a bit closer to reality.

May said...

I am now begin to wonder how is the wife supposed to be 50 years from now????

Carrie and Troy Keiser said...

These are great pictures.
The Home Ec info, very interesting.
Your friend's post strange. I read some of the comments, looks like she opened a can of worms there. To me marriage is a 2 way street both need to be aware of feelings and household duties.

Lolli said...

I really like your take on it! The then and now is a hoot! As far as Jill's post goes, she is a dear friend of mine and I love her, but while I don't jive with what the video was suggesting, I'm also not as against the idea as she is. Let's just leave it at that. :)

Marilyn said...

Great pictures. Are they from the wedding you did? You are so talented.

mrslong said...

:o) Your post made me laugh. I'm someone who is trying out the challenge, & we'll see how it goes. I'm not the norm for it, as I work full time, and don't have the time to always make dinner, clean, etc, but I do see these as ways that I can love my husband better. The challenge has a lot of practical application, so I think it will be good for my marriage. It's funny to see how things change in just 50 years though! Sooo different now.

Baloney said...

Well, crap. The Doc will be home soon and I haven't even showered yet. :)
There is a legitimate argument in here for happiness and companionship. I would like to say that the partnership is always 50/50 but that just isn't the truth most of the time.
The challenge reminds me of Power of a Praying Wife and The Love Dare. I'm sure that being loved and cared for would bring gratitude in your partner but at some point I think it could bring entitlement. I know I created a monster (hate to say it but I did) when I used to take care of the Doc better. He started expecting it instead of appreciating it.
I love this post. Even if it was meant in sarcasm.
I actually do think everyone should sit down and make at least a 5 year plan. Just makes sense.

gringationcancun said...

I didn't get the chance to watch the video bc Imm at work. It sounds pretty solid though, so long as he does the same for her. I think a servant's heart is an important part of any marriage or friendship :)

Again, if it's just one-sided, it's total BS.

I looooove thepictures you posted!

gibknitty said...

Thanks for visiting my blog! This post is absolutely hilarious. I love the contrast between then and now.

Tracey Axnick said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs4444 said...

I think it's nice to do some things to make your husband feel special and appreciated. I respect the wives who love doing what the woman in the video suggests. However, they do not live on the planet to which I belong...

Tracey Axnick said...

Just read Jill (Scary Mommy's) post and viewed the video.
Now, as a believer, I see where this lady is coming from. However, she TOTALLY rubbed me the wrong way. Unfortunately I've seen her "type" too many times.... I see why there are so many negative comments.

IMHO, marriage works best when it's a partnership, and when both partners are in "mutual voluntary submission" to one another and 100%committed to one another.

Anyway, as far as you and Gary, tell him to put down the McDonalds french fries AND the crack pipe and you guys can have a REAL discussion about your marriage.... foh real!! :)

(Men are so silly, aren't they???)

Amy said...

I am so asking my husband for the 5 and 10 year plan. My husband is the type he'll probably have a well thought out answer. :)

Jamie said...

Being single sounds good after reading the first half, although if I can work of your plan I might just survive marriage someday.

jlo said...

Ok...really? Good thing I wasn't a wife in the 50's! I'm not that nice! Great pics!

singedwingangel said...

Ty so much for coming by my place. I don't think I had a problme so much with scary Mommy as I did the people who were literally just being hateful and rude. I know how silly it sounds if you have not come from a relationship with Jesus to be as he was.. Crazy huh. But one has to acknowledge that something about that era worked. It was not about his being some form of demi god but giving him a castle to come home to. Men have 2 things in them King and kid what you speak to is what comes out. If you treat him like a child that is the one you will receive. IF you speak to he King he is who will come out. simply because men have a need to feel needed and important. When shown that they often do their utmost to do the same for you .. placing you in your queen role.

Grandma J said...

Again, I'm late to the party! BUT....let's just say I would scrap Jill's plan and side with Gary. Pass the nuggets please!!!

Oh, and who is that gorgeous man in all the photos??

cathyjoy said...

love love love the updated section! sounds kinda like my life!

thanks for stoppin by my place - i'm enjoyin yours and plan on stayin for a while!

Unknown Mami said...

Proper pre-planning prevents piss-poor performance.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I remember that one! My favorite was always #8: Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

The "project" that Jill posted about seemed like it had good intentions at heart...but ZERO reciprocity! That alone made it impossible to take seriously. Plus - I wouldn't be able to do most of it with a straight face...

Courtney Raschdorf Photography said...

I love it!

It's funny to see how much has changed in 60 years.

Thanks for sharing!

Emma said...

Brilliant post....very funny and I'm loving the pictures! The wedding ones are super beautiful!! Thanks for stopping by my blog on SITS Pot Luck Friday x

Hilary said...

Fun stuff. I like the colourful shoes, the old LIFE magazines and the O'Doodles sign..

and that male model.. yeah, especially him. ;)

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

I love your photos. I didn't read your friends post... now i must head over there and find out the 411. I haven't been on blog for a while. Ugh... so far behind!

Drew said...

I know you have been anxiously awaiting my thoughts on this whole subject. Well, your wait is finally over. :)

It works for that family. They seem very happy and very comfortable in their roles. A lot of what the lady said is just something anyone should do in a good Biblical marriage (ie. put the other person's wants and needs first). If both people in a marriage did that, there would be very few problems in a marriage.

Here are my issues:

1. The lady doesn't appear to have experienced a day of strife in her life. It's hard to take someone seriously until you know they've gone through some hardship. She's dressed to the 9's, a beautiful house is very evident in the background, she appears to have had plenty of pampering (can you say Barbie doll?)...it's easy to have it all together in a situation like that. What if her husband lost his job, and she had to go to work? What would her attitude be like then? Hopefully good...but who knows?

2. Obviously, this lady's husband's income more than covers their needs. Most families are not like that. It's easy to imply that everyone should be stay-at-home wives/mothers with supper ready, makeup on, kids calm, etc.. If I were a stay at home wife/mother, I would expect that many of these tasks would become my responsibility. I guess I can't identify with her, because she has no idea the juggling act that woman have to perform to work, get their education, be a good wife and be a good mother. There always seems to be an undercurrent with sites like this that if you are a working mother, you somehow did something wrong. You're either being selfish and wanting too much money, or your husband isn't measuring up as a man. They don't say it directly, but it sure is implied. (Did you know she has a site about "stay at home daughters"?)

3. This lady should not even start to address "drunkards", etc. What does she know about a woman who is dealing with that? Quite honestly, if my husband were a "drunkard" or a "druggie", I would be getting my kids out of the house and to safety. I wouldn't be all that worried about "completing him". :)

4. At one point when she was describing a woman's role in the marriage, I could have used her exact words and been describing a dog. "she goes out of her way for me, she loves me, she is so faithful and loyal" All well and good, but I would hope my husband would value more than what I do but also me as a person.

5. Okay, last one...totally unBiblical...she just plain out gets on my nerves. She talks and looks like a sorority girl...gag!

Seriously, though...she and her husband agreed upon this arrangement. This was actually how she wanted it. (I saw a video of her on the Rachel Ray show.) It just isn't what works for every marriage. I'm a horrible housewife. Cleaning is absolutely one of my least favorite things to do. If I didn't have my career, I think I might go out of my mind. I love my kiddos and husband more than anything, but I also need my career. No apologies. I just try to keep everything in balance.

As usual, I wrote a book. :)