Thursday, February 11, 2010

Racism in our ‘hood.

I would not want to be our neighbors. 

Seriously.

We are loud.

Well, I should clarify,

Kaish and I are loud.snowy day 4   Gary, bless his heart,

is as quiet as a mouse.

Plus he is at work 24/7,

so even if he was loud,

the neighbors would never know.

Our neighbor on the right is a single man

who works a ton just like Gary.snowy day 1

He is nice and young and always says hi

to everyone in our driveway!

Kaish, Jonathon, Patrick, Kevin and Shoshi

all like him.snowy day 2

And I like him a ton because

I always ask him if we are loud

and he always says ‘No.’

Then we have the neighbors on the left.

I wrote about them here.

I would like to just say that since that time,

things have gone down hill.

Way down hill.snowy day

A few months ago the woman was angry

about the children running across her backyard.

Now, you should know,

in our townhouse development,

all backyards are community property.

It doesn’t really matter if it is

directly behind your home or not,

anyone can use it.

Apparently the boys were playing.

I am guessing it was a Chasing and Fighting game

of some sort as that is the only game

I have ever seen them play…

They ran onto ‘her’ part

of the community property

and she came out screaming.snowy day 3

She speaks a different language so

the children were not 100% sure what she said,

but they did say that she had pointed to

Shoshi and called him a terrorist.

This angered me on so many levels.snowy day 7  I explained to the children that they were an older couple

and perhaps not fond of the excitement and enthusiasm

the children had for their games.

I told them to be kind.

Try to do their best to avoid

‘the neighbors' part of the yard.

I also had to explain what a terrorist was to Shoshi.snowy day 6

I knocked on her door,

(after I had calmed down,)

and she would not answer.

She was screaming at me thru the closed door though.

I asked her (as best as I could)

thru the closed door

to please speak kindly to the children.

I told her we would try to avoid that part of the yard.

I told her Shoshi was NOT a terrorist.

And I walked away.

Gary was annoyed when I told him later that night.

I think the terrorist part threw him over the edge.

Since that time,

whenever I see her,

she raises a fist at me.snowy day 9

Seriously. A fist.

I just smile.

What else can you do when someone

raises a fist at you?

I decided I would not try to be her friend any more.

Clearly, friendship is not on her agenda.

Today, while the kids were playing in the snow,

she came out screaming.

Apparently some of the snow was falling onto her driveway.

I can see how that would be annoying.

However, I can not see

how that would make you call a child a very bad name.

‘Nigger!’

That is what she called Kaishon today.communal global 3 Pointed her finger at him and screamed it.

I was in the garage at the time,

rearranging bicycles.

I saw the whole thing.

I was so stunned.

I dropped the bicycle I was moving

and came out  into the driveway.

She closed her garage door.

Kaishon and Shoshi and Jonathon were speechless.

And then they got angry.

I talked to them again about how

there will be many people in our lives

that are difficult to get along with

and we have to learn how to deal with them.

Kaishon was especially upset.snowy day 8   I knocked on her door.

She didn’t answer.

I heard some yelling thru the door.

Something about “Get away” and “Call the police”

I guess there is nothing we can do.

It makes me feel stressed though.

I am sharing it with you.

Can you think of something we can do differently?

How would you deal with her?

It makes me sad that the kids

have to learn about things like

Terrorism and Racism

from this little old lady…

Very, very sad.

snowy day 10

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality.... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.  ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

135 comments:

Jenners said...

This is awful. What a miserable old woman ... when the only English words she seems to have learned are HATE WORDS and uses them on young innocent children, making their world less innocent and beautiful.

Ugh.

But I do believe in the end, karma comes back to bite you and love will win out.

Love your snow photos, by the way. Looks like we got about the same amount!

Mari said...

I am just appalled and saddened by this! I would have hoped that by her watching the kids and seeing the kindness you were showing would have changed her, but some people don't change.
I'm especially sad that these sweet kids have to be subjected to this.

Grandma J said...

Sadly there isn't much you can do that you haven't already done.

I always find The Serenity Prayer something that calms my anger with ignorant people. I'm sure you know it....teach it to the boys. Love you guys!

Melissa said...

Oh my goodness, what a miserable old lady. What a shame she is missing out on the beauty of life.

I hope you can find peace with this situation.

I wish I could say more, I am shocked.....

Kelly said...

I wish I had some advice, what a horrible thing to say and a very sad life attitude to have!!

Hugs to the boys and to you!!

Cloudia said...

I feel great sadness when I realize that my bi-racial nephew will experience this same "first" someday.

My heart and soul go out to you and your son!

Perhaps the community association could speak to her? Perhaps YOU should call the police or social services; this person is abusing your child!


Aloha, my Sister


Comfort Spiral

Caroline said...

That is unbelievably disappointing. I am so sorry that you and your kids are having to deal with that. I wish I had some good advice other than avoidance as much as possible.

If she is actively berating your children on a regular basis, I might consider filing the incident with the police. Especially considering it's not her property.

But I'm not sure that that is the best answer. Wish I could help!

themrs said...

you give ME her address... i'll be right over to take care of it. mean, old crazy person. we happen to be the only caucasian people in our block. we get a little of that ourselves. but i respect your self control, if anyone called my children a name i might be in jail right. that would probably make theMr really angry. he's not a fan of bailing me out of jail. JK! seriously though, i'm so sorry anyone would dare to call your beautiful son that ugly name.

jlo said...

As I was reading this post, I was thinking, "Wow! Look at all that snow." and "What a cute neighborhood."

I was going to say give her a thumbs down...like the "Boo!" sign when she comes oputside and gives you a fist.

Then, I kept reading.
Man.

Matty said...

You mention that she is a little old lady, but we don't know her actual age. My initial thought about her use of the word "terrorist" was not in the context of radical nuts who want to destroy America, but rather a term that many old people used to describe an unruly youngster. Children and younger adults are not familiar with some of the terminology that the older generation was accustomed to using. Many years ago, children that were known as troublemakers were often referred to by adults as "hooligans", "terrorists" and "whippersnappers". I don't know her or her background, or what her intent was when she said this, but I merely present it as a possibility.

As for the racial comment, that is cut and dry.

When I read posts where the author presents a problem and asks for input, I always remember that it is easy to give advice when you are not in that person's situation. Additionally, I only know what you present here in your article. Based only on this information, it sounds like you made the effort to discuss the matter with her and got nowhere, and with a less than pleasant response. Perhaps you should pull back for a while and let her simmer down. Opinions, feelings, beliefs and viewpoints take a lifetime to develop. You cannot change them overnight with a knock on her door.

I might suggest that you tell the kids that "terrorist" is a term that old people use for kids who's behavior they don't like (whether or not the behavior is actually troublesome is not relevant when explaining this). And that names are just that and nothing more. If someone calls a cop a pig, there is nothing personal about it. They are directing it at the uniform, the thing that they see on the outside. At his age, he should know that what's on the inside, the part she can't see, is what counts.

As time goes on, perhaps you and the neighbors can chip away at their "wall of anger" by just being good neighbors, maybe lending them a helping hand when you see they need something, and smiling and waving hello when you see them. Kindness goes a long way.

I wish you the best.

kasey said...

that is seriously so sad! those poor little guys, to have to experience someone as miserable as her! I don't know what I would do differently. It's not like you can keep them inside and away from her???? Oh Becky, so sorry you have to live next to someone like that. Some people, there are no pleasing and some people are truly so hateful! :( She does not sound like she has the love of God in her. that is most likely the problem. :( sorry my friend.

Louisiana Belle said...

This post made my heart hurt. There's not much else you can try with an unreasonable person. My gut instinct would be to call her a name back to show her how it feels, but that would accomplish nothing, except to fuel more anger. I guess just forgive, be kind, and turn the other cheek. It's the hardest thing of all the options, but probably the only one that wouldn't escalate matters.

Loukia said...

This makes me sick. I am SO sorry you have a NEIGHBOUR like that! There has GOT to be something you can do? If that was me and my child in that situation, I would be very immature and at the very least egg the heck out of her house at night. Or scratch up her car. Or something immature and dumb and mindless and even that wouldn't come close to her stupidity and ignorance and racism. In all honesty, I wonder if there is a way to get rid of her. Like make her want to move! I know, I'm taking this very personal! Also, call the police. Seriously. File a complaint about the things she has called your child and the other child. It wouldn't hurt... you're a great mother. I'm sorry. I don't know if I could be all 'turn the other cheek, be nice, etc.' I don't know if I could...

Kristina P. said...

That is horrible. It makes me so sad to think there are still people out there like this. I don't think there's anything you can do to someone like this.

Wanda said...

I am in shock. What a horible situation. Bad enough if she were some random stranger but you have to live with her. I think you've already done everything a person could do in these circumstances. Explaining to the kids that it may happen again might be wise because this may not go away.

I really feel for you. We have had years of neighbour problems (not racism per say but more stylism). They freak out if a leaf from my tree hits their driveway or a branch touches their fense. I accomodated it for years - now I just ignore them. It does make me sad because we live together. We share the same street - I see them everytime I leave my house - it makes it very uncomfortable.

I'm so sorry your sweet boy has had to see this ugly hate up so close and personal (and his friends too.)It is a learning opportunity but a painful one for all of you. Very sad!

Sending you some hugs!

Wanda (At Last...)

Kelly said...

I am so sad for both Kaishon and Shoshi. It's horrible for an adult to hear, but it's traumatic and defining for a child. They will one day remember this as The Day they first knew ignorance.

I have no suggestions except that I would tell the boys that some people are ignorant and mean. Those people are best ignored and forgotten.

Hugs to you all.

Dot O said...

Oh I am so sorry for what has happened. No, I don't believe it is anything you can fix. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our neighbors - we just have to try to peacefully co-exist.

In our neighborhood, we just told our kids not to go on the property of the angry neighbor. I didn't go out of my way to interact or be nice or negotiate.

In time, things may calm down but don't put yourself in a position where she has another chance to raise a fist at you or threaten you.

Sending hugs to you and Shoshi, and especially Kaish - he's a sweet little guy and that was such a hurtful thing.

{{{{}}}}

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am always shocked to hear things like this. I PRAY that after 'that' generation of ignorance is gone, we will have a cleaner slate of open minded people.
The only thing I can think of doing, would be to write a simple letter stating to her the kinds of hurt that she inflicts on innocent children. Let her know that you teach your children tollerance of all sorts of people in life...even old grouchy ones.
Gosh...this just makes me so hurt for the kids...why so much hate???
I don't get it!


xoxoxoxo
Suz

Anita said...

That's awful.
Do you know anyone that she's friends with that can communicate with her for you?
Or can you write her a letter (but make sure you show it to someone before giving it to her - anything on paper is evidence)
I don't know.
Pray that she'll move.

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

That is just terrible... I cannot believe someone could be so hateful. i am so sorry you have a neighbor like this. Do you own or rent? Not that you should run from your problems but if you are renting... i would seriously consider moving. There is nothing you can do about her. She will be a problem as long as you live in that area. Eventually something worse will happen and eventually Kaishon may not feel like being so nice anymore (i wouldn't blame him) you can only handle so much. And the N word... that is one of the worse words I can think of. I hate that word. Absolutely hate it... and it is so sad cause she is missing out on an incredibly loving little boy

Hilary said...

I can't say that I've ever encountered someone who is so regularly this bitter.

All I can think of is how miserable her life must be to feel this urge to scream when speaking will do. To abuse children when the vast majority of older women would love the opportunity to be their pseudo grandmother. To hate rather than enjoy. She must be VERY unhappy. Your kids need to know this. And she needs to stop.

I think Cloudia has a good idea. It should be on record that this woman is harming your kids' psyches. It is indeed abuse. Sadly she will probably die an angry, bitter woman. Your beautiful family should not have to endure her fallout. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Yelena R. said...

That is just awful! I've known some prejudiced people...but never so hostile! I agree with the comments above, it's so much harder for the kids than the adults. I don't even know what I would do in a situation like that. I think you acted very bravely!

Leslie said...

That is so shocking. It sounds like this lady belongs in a mental institution or hospital or soomething. She is not well. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this!!

Lauren said...

That is so infuriating especially because I hear so much racist crap from my own family when I visit them from school. I hear 'nigger' a lot. It's sad, but it's true. It's just something I've always had to hear about because it's the south, and unfortunately down here there's a lot of that going around still. Sometimes I think the South will never get over the Civil War, and because of old habits with racism towards blacks, they will cultivate it and use it for other races as well. I'm not sure I would've been able to be as calm and nice as you were to your neighbor. For that I commend you, but I can think of so many awful names that she should be called. If she's going to act like a two year old with calling children names and refuse to acknowledge you when she knows why you're coming to her front door maybe she should just not come out of her house to yell, because that's pointless if she can't even talk with you about why it bothers her so much. She's not really accomplishing anything. I'm sorry, I know this sounds maybe a smidge hostile on my part, but that just angers me so much. I'm incredibly sorry you have to deal with that.

Jessica said...

I'm so very sorry that not only you, but your child had to experience this. It is truly devastating that people feel the need to use these words over something so little, over something at.all.

I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I truly respect and admire your bravery.

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

I also agree with some comments and if you have no option of moving out of that place you should file a report. File or call the cops everytime she threatens or name calls your child. At this point they probably won't do much but it will at least stay on file so that in case anything ever happens that is major... you can show that this women is CRAZY!!!!! If not... call Judge Judy... that women is the bomb and she will set that women straight! She gets straight to the point! :D

I'll send her a letter to and tell her to be nice... what;s her address??? HA HA just kidding

Buckeroomama said...

It's really sad when neighbors can't be, well, neighborly at the very least. And calling the children names and using inappropriate racial terms? Absolutely unacceptable!

Maybe she'll move away...? Here's hoping. {{hugs}}

brooke lynn said...

oh no she didn't!!!!!!!!!!!!
she's living in her own little world.
so sorry.

Ocean Girl said...

First, your snow is so beautiful. I can't imagine there is such a place with that much snow. And the children look so happy playing in the snow.

As for the "crazy" lady, I think she is crazy. That fist showing gives her away. I'm not sure how old she is but I don't think any attention to her would be worth it. Does she have a husband or any other family member living in the house that you can talk to? But really I think she is just that one wicked old lady we always see in movies that live in a neighbourhood.

Ocean Girl said...

What I am saying is, she should be tolerated and accepted for what she is.

Peterson Family said...

Oh my. What a terrible thing for you and the kids to be dealing with. Words hurt. What kind of person talks that way to children and then hides from the adults who want to talk to them about their adult behavior? Cowards, is my guess. Ignorant cowards.

Give them extra hugs from me because I seriously would want to wrap my arms around them and let them know that they were just being kids and her ignorance has nothing to do with them.

I would seriously talk to someone about what you could do on your end since she won't talk to you and continues to spew hate at children, though. What a terrible, terrible situation.

(On the upside, your pics were gorgeous.)

Sending hugs to all of you and praying that you can get a resolution to this!

Alicia said...

Honestly, there isn't much "you" can do. The only way she would be able to change is through the Lord, know what I mean? He would be the only one that could convict her of how nasty she is being. If it were me, I would just keep praying for her, and also pray with the kids. This way they see you are above all this, and that ultimately, she needs Jesus!

The Gman said...

im so sorry. lots of small minded people in this world and it must suck living next door to one of them. Take heart as you are doing the right thing being and example of a good neighbor to your kids. that will help to eradicate this horrible issue...someday.

stephanie garcia said...

I am so sorry. So very, very sorry. For you and Kaishon and Shoshi and even a (little) bit for this woman who reminds me of an Anne Shirley quote I can't quite remember but it has something to do with an old lady who "blots out every speck of human kindness." May God give you grace to deal with this situation!

Blanca said...

Hello.

That brings tears to my eyes. Just thought of those words being directed at anyone..especially children.

I think you are doing very well with the situation but if it were me I would call the police and report her for verbal harassment. It sounds like a hate crime. I know that the police me seem like a bad thing to do because the women is older but it is never okay to say things like that. I'd prefer for people like that to keep their opinions to themselves.

Today at a play group an older girl hit and pushed my 19 month old daughter and that made me angry and I wanted to cry because I cannot stand anyone being mean to my babies. It is no where near the same as what you had to go through but I can understand racism.

Also..what a great quote by MLK.

I am happy that your children have such a great and wise mother. Hats off to you because I don't think I could have been that way.

Take care.

Blanca

Holly @ posypocket.blogspot said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm so sad to hear about your neighbor and the stress it must be causing for you. It sounds like you are doing the best thing, to defend the children and protect them. Love always wins. Your neighbor must be a very sad woman if she is lashing out like that. I'm so very sorry to hear how it is hurting your family.

your SITSta, Holly

Corey~living and loving said...

I do not have good advice, but am sorry you are having to deal with this. How awful.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

I would write a letter to her with all of the kids' parents signatures on it letting her know that you all will not stand for hatred against the kids...that's it's got to stop before she is reported. Instead of mailing it, I would have it delivered by at least 10 people in toe...just to make sure she gets the point that this is not a one person against another person type of fight.

alessandra said...

So sad, so sad.
We had some kind of bad problems with neighbors, at last we moved.
We could not bear a life like this.

Sonya said...

Ooohh my heart just breaks I am so so sorry! I honestly don't know what you can do about that..do you own your place? is there like a home owners association thing that adresses this?

Since moving to the netherlands my kids have been targeted left and right for being americans and let me tell you we've been called some seriously horrible names.

Im sending big comforting hugs your way. The situation is just sickening and I hope you are able to to find out some answers as to what can be done.

Pumpkin Delight said...

Wow! That is appalling. It sounds like you've tried. Some people are just awful and no matter how you've tried, they are still awful. So sorry that you are having to deal with this and that the kids are.

Kyrsten said...

Hi!
First: thanks for your nice comment on my blog :-)
Second: I'm shocked! Your neighbourhood looks nice and this old lady is crazy! Damn, kids are loud and playing but treating them that mean isn't fair. I'm really sorry for you that you gotta live next door :-(
I think I will follow your blog now coz it's nicely done and something so different :-)

☼¨`*•.♥Rocío♥.•*¨`☼ said...

Oh sweet heart I know exactly how you feel...I am Hispanic I totally understand =(...I still can believe there is many many ignorant people and it's just horrible that we have to put up with them sometimes...=(
Poor little ones I can't imagine how he felt when he heard that ugly word...it breaks my heart...
I loved all ur beautiful pictures...♥

Valerie said...

The words my mother ALWAYS said to me - when the other girls up the street sent dogs barking and chasing me (that bit me), tore my little halter top off and ran away with it, and pulled my comb out of my pocket and threw it down the storm sewer grate were ... "Kill 'em with kindness".

There 'unfortunately' will always be those who hate. No, I don't think there is an excuse for it. Perhaps her life has been so horribly hard that she has been scarred and torn apart so badly inside, that she knows nothing else.

It is hard at such a young age, to be subjected to such hate. Working with refugees from war torn lands where their families have been murdered before their eyes - (not that this is in her background) has destroyed the life of the living too.

If it was me, I would secretly begin to leave little gifts with notes. Perhaps a 'Peace Plant" with a note encouraging love and kindness. Maybe your hurt too much at this point.

I know I am not in your shoes. I don't know the solution for you except to encourage the boys that our world is made up of a bunch of mixed up people who make lots of terrible mistakes and say really mean things. If it were my sons, I would remind them how awful it feels to have someone treat you in such a way, and to remember to never cause someone else that same pain.

A very hard lesson to learn at a young age.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

This just sickens me! You have done all you can. I know I would be angry. But that solves nothing. We will pray for this lady. She needs extra grace. Give the boys a hug and tell them Jesus loves them. I do too.
<><

Becky Jo said...

I didn't read all of the previous comments, but the obvious issue here is language. She doesn't speak yours, you don't speak hers. Maybe if you could find someone to translate, maybe a mediator... maybe you can relay to her that they are little kids playing, and not what she perceives them to be based on their appearance. Some people will never learn, but maybe some CAN learn. Good luck, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with this woman.

jen@odbt said...

Ugh. Sick pit in the stomach feeling for you. I don't know what to say. It should not be like that in today's world. There really are no excuses for your neighbor...if she has a problem with the kids, then be an adult and speak to you, the parent. Do not take it out on the kids. I'm sorry the kids heard those words.

w said...

your pictures are an inspiration - a calming force - in a post that is heartbreaking.

your neighbor is not a happy person. obviously on the outside. but probably on the inside, as well.

children do not need that kind of exposure. i just say avoid her. and avoid her. and... wait for it... pray for her. i think she needs it. that or a kick in th-- no, no. prayer.

sorry you have a neighbor who sucks.

Marilyn said...

That just makes my heart ache. I just can't imagine being in your situation. Precious children treated like that. So sad. I'm proud of how you handled both situations. When something like this happens I always think of a saying a friend told me. It is hard to apply it to your neighbor though 'Take not to heart an unkind word. It is just the echo of another's hurt you've heard.' Wish I knew what to tell you so you could make friends with her. She has to be hurting over something to be so angry. You are such a strong person not to reply with unkind words. Take care.

Nurse Nancy said...

It is so sad that there are still people in the world like this and that our children have to be subjected to them. I will pray for you, your family and for the neighbor.

TSannie said...

It breaks my heart Kaishon was exposed to this kind of hatred - and Shoshi too. It is inexcusable.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

What a HORRIBLE woman.... I have no words for you!! I think you have done all you can do. You have taken the high road and have not sunk to her level. It is so sad that in today's society we are still dealing with racism........so very sad.

Hugs to you and the boys for all that you have had to deal with this week!

xoxo,

Lisa

Sarah said...

oh rebeckah!! this brought tears to my eyes :( i am so sorry and i have no idea how i would handle it. i think you are doing all the right things. i am so sorry you had to explain those awful words to the boys. they are so precious! if we ever decide to move to philadelphia we will make that lady sell her house to us so you can have nice neighbors on both sides :)

p.s. you? loud?? i would've never guessed...

Ragan said...

Oh, that makes me want to cry! What a horrible old lady :(

Kristin said...

That is just unbelievable!! I would say, that as hard as it might be, to pray for her. If anyone can change her heart and open her eyes to her own hatred and how wrong it is, it's the Lord!

Trudy said...

Oh, this post breaks my heart. But then my heart breaks for everything that breaks the hearts of God's children...especially the young and innocent ones! It certainly does not seem fair that the children have to be subject to her tirades, especially when they involve degrading words and outright accusations, as false as they may be.

She has made it clear that she is hostile toward you and does not want any face to face contact. I would suggest praying for her, as difficult as that might be. Or perhaps anonymously dropping off a little gift for Valentine's Day? God calls us to love our enemies and demonstrate the love of Christ in all things. You and the kids certainly have every right to be angry, I know I would be for sure. Just try to keep killing her with kindness!

Christina Lee said...

ARE YOU F****** kidding me?????? I am so angry for you and so sad!! WOW. I wonder what other neighbors say or think about her--have you asked/talked to them? I'm so sorry about this!

Eternal Lizdom said...

1. Pray. Pray by yourself and pray with Kaishon.

2. Give her a white hood for Valentine's Day since she loves to hate.

3. Work out a deal with Shoshi to bomb her townhome.

4. Bake her a cake. Decorate it with swastikas.


Avoid her. At all costs. Is there a homeowners association of some sort? I'd file a complaint. And if she yells hate speech at your child again, I'd contact the police. And I'd take my child with me to do so so that he would see me standing up for him. I don't know that I wouldn't be able to stop my angry, mama bear self from stooping to her low, low, pathetic place.

For now- go back to number 1 up there.

Heidi said...

That is just so awful. I think it is so impressive that you can deal with the situation calmly and not engage in the hatred. Those boys are very lucky to have you.

Baloney said...

This makes me sick and a bit teary as well.
If I were you I would start a journal documenting dates, names, details, etc in case this woman ever does cross a line or choose to take things a step further. She is obviously irrational and unstable. And disgusting.
It is unfortunate that they have to hear these things at such a young age but I think I would tell them that she doesn't know God. I would tell them that she is a very sad individual and will never fully understand love or friendship.
I think the only thing you can do is avoid her and tell them that some people are just broken. Those kids are precious.

jennykate77 said...

Oooooooo, this makes me so mad. I want to hop the first flight to PA and give that lady a piece of my mind!! I think you're handling it in the best way possible. It is very evident that the racist old lady has her mind made up and I'm pretty sure nothing you say will change the way she thinks. I would say to just continue what you're doing...it sucks that we have to repay hatred with kindness, but it is what we should do...it would be easier to fork her yard or seran wrap her car. I'll be praying that she has a change of heart and sees those boys for the loveable wonderful human beings that they are!

HUGS♥

Linds said...

ok, at the beginning I was kind of laughing, because this old lady is obviously ridiculous. But to throw the n word out, and to all people a CHILD. I would have ran out of the garage, pummeled the lady and REALLY given her something to actually call the police about. What a terd! I would definitely document all the occurances because I wouldn't put it past her to do something stupid where YOU would have to call the police-- not to scare you or anything, but geez. That's so terrible.

The Incredible Woody said...

I'm thinking a flaming bag of poo on her porch might be awesome...

panamamama said...

What a sad old lady. I am in shock. People like that just make me so sad, thinking about the hate they must carry in their hearts- it's got to eat them up from inside. Your poor babies. You really handled it well, don't know if I could have.

Chelsea said...

Oh gosh, I have no advice for how to handle such hatred... especially towards children. I'd probably scream and yell and accomplish nothing. I think the way you are handling this is the best you can do, and I wish you luck!

Thanks for stopping by my blog, by the way. It is an absolute treat to discover yours :) Kaishon is gorgeous, and he seems to have just wonderful buds (and parents!)!

Suki said...

You know Becky as I read this I was waiting for the part where you screamed at her. At least I would have done that. I know a really imature way of dealing with something like that. I would never want my child to hear something like this, but I believe you can not do very much on this one. Try to avoid the lil old lady.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Wow that is awful. So sorry that you have to deal with this woman. Love the photos of the kids.

the Lola Letters said...

Perhaps it's partly because I am pregnant, but hot, hot angry tears have filled my eyes.

It's likely NOT because I am pregnant at all, and more because the behavior you have described is disgusting beyond anything that my words (or any words) can adequately express.

You are a Buddha for handling it the way you have. A vessel of peace, and honestly the best example Kaishon could hope for, and here's why: You can't change how some people (some ignortant, hateful, HORRIBLE people)are going to behave, but you CAN shape how it affects Kaishon. And that's what you're doing.

I have no doubt that Kaish will grow to be an amazing person - intelligent, fun, kind, and good. But because of you, he will also be empowered with the knowledge that the horrible things that may be said to him from time to time SAY NOTHING about who he really is AND EVERYTHING about the person saying them.

Now, all grace and wisdom aside, I would burn her house down when she left to go to the store so she'd have to live somewhere else (at the very LEAST for 6 months while she rebuilds). *sigh* If only your homes weren't connected ;)

the Lola Letters said...

OR, if you insist upon taking the "high road", kind notes, bright pictures, and cookies left on her doorstep WEEKLY with a signed picture of Kaishon and Shoshi just might do the trick!

This could be healing for Kaish and Shoshi...

Besides why should her behavior affect or determine the kind of people you are?

"Kill 'em with kindness!" -that's what Mama always said!

Elle @ A for Effort said...

How shocking and awful that she can look at a child and say such a horrible, terrible thing. My heart hurt reading this, and it hurts more knowing that someday my biracial newphew is going to have to deal with the dame thing. What is wrong with people?!?

This has gotta be especially tough for your kids since they have to live next to this woman. I really hope she moves soon. In the mean time, I'd do all that I could to avoid her, and have the kids do the same. What a shame.

Nessa said...

It breaks my heart when people are so unkind and cruel to children. The fact that she will only attack children shows precisely how small a person she is and so very cowardly.

Document each incident for future use.

Is there a community association you can write to?

I believe you could also call the police to file a complaint of racial intimidation against her.

Flash 55 - Priorities

4 Lettre Words said...

Beautiful kids. Ugly woman.

Mom24 said...

Print this and leave it on her door?

This completely breaks my heart. I'm sorry for the ignorance and intolerance. She must be a truly miserable human being.

Elizabeth said...

Wow. I'm in shock and can't even imagine what I would do in this situation.

This is my only opinion or advice on the subject. This is a wonderful opportunity to show your kids that God tells us to love everyone regardless of their behavior. I think the way you're handing this woman is a perfect example of loving someone even when it's difficult. It's also a living example to your kids of how that much hatred and bitterness makes people SO miserable.

Keep on being the sweet loving person that you are and you will speak SO much louder to your children than you realize.

I'm SO sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully some good teachable moments will come from it.

Norah said...

This is truly so sad. I guess I feel bad for this old woman because it is her loss. She will never know the beauty your child holds. That's sad.

Anita Johnson said...

I was so sorry to read about what you are experiencing with your neighbor. It seems nothing you can do will change her attitude. As adults, we can try to explain away her behavior and "deal with it" (easier said than done), but my heart aches for the kids...they should never have to deal with this at all. You will be in my prayers...
a blog friend,
Anita

Mighty M said...

It sounds like you have dealt with it as maturely as you can. I can't think of anything you might have left out. I wish they would move -she is so very rude. I am sorry the kids have had to deal with and be ridiculed by this horrible person!

Jenny said...

That is awful. I just don't understand people and how they can verbalize their beliefs to children who don't understand. Just boils my blood.
Maybe she should have called the cops and then you could explain to them that she is racist and has been verbally abusive to the kids with her hatefulness.

Larry McCay said...

Unreal. I am sorry that you and your little one have to deal with this. We accept our plights in life but being faced with our children having to deal is so painful. Peace. -larry

Sue said...

I cannot imagine living with that much hate in me like that old woman!!!

Your pictures are beautiful and oh my did you get a bunch of snow!!!

Caroline said...

Hi Becky.
This is a really sad story on so many levels. It's really sad that those lovely boys are having to hear such nasty things said about and to them, but there is a side to that coin that says that with someone as supportive as you beside them they are learning how to deal with the 'tough' stuff in an appropriate way. Abuse is never a nice thing to endure in any form, but we all do at some point in our lives and it is a good idea if we learn how to deal with it when we are young ~ by the time we need to use those skills unsupported they will be finely tuned. Much as we can say that children (or anyone) should NEVER have to deal with such abuse, the fact is, most of us do :(
It is sad that you have the stress of worrying what her next attack will be and that makes your life unpleasant in the neighbourhood ~ my thought and prayers are with you on that one!
But it strikes me how sad it is that this elderly lady is obviously embittered by the joy in the children. I wonder what has fed such hatred, intolerance and anger into her heart? I wonder what she has been through in her life that has caused her to become this way? I wonder if the sound of children playing and laughing cuts deep at something within her that hurts. Undealt with pain most often leads to bitterness and I suspect this lady is manifesting the evidence of this. THIS saddens me.
In your shoes, once my blood had stopped boiling, I think I would get down on my knees and pray the power of Gods forgiveness into and over her life ~ and I would keep praying for her. I would bless her every time she raised a fist at me and pray God's peace over her. My feeling is that she doesn't need more aggression, or arguments, or police on her doorstep, or resentment, or hate towards : quite the opposite! She needs UNCONDITIONAL, SACRIFICIAL love ~ the kind of love it hurts US to give! She needs you to love and show love towards her IN SPITE of all she has and is doing to make your lives miserable. I'm not saying you need to find ways to be friendly toward her in terms of 'making friends' or acts of kindness, but that, perhaps more difficultly, you need to have a heart of kindness and love toward her when you pray FOR her.
There is nothing you can really 'DO', but you CAN pray, and sometimes these are exactly the kinds of situations that test our faith the most!
I've never been in this situation exactly and I don't wish my answer to sound trite or glib, but as soon as I read the story I just felt in my heart this was the answer I had to give you. I don't underestimate the hurt this lady has caused you and the boys today, but all the same my heart believes that her bitterness is the fountain with a deep rooted source. Her behaviour is not excusable or acceptable in any way ~ but it is FORGIVEABLE if YOU choose for it to be.
Much love and you'll be in my prayers.
Caroline.

b said...

Would that you could be spared this...beautiful children do play and laugh. Old people can be cranky and demented. Can they be forgiven for that? ...maybe so. But until we have walked in your shoes we will not know. Be well and stay away her as much as possible. That is my best advice. My guess would be that this person, like most others, will never change. All we can do is learn from others mistakes.

Thank you so much for your visit and your concern about my grandson. He is much better. We are feeling very hopeful and certain of his recovery. I do, however, continue to breath in and out for him. It is very hard to stop.

b

http://torristravels.blogspot.com

Melissa B. said...

I guess you can't do much except continue to be your sweet, giving self. And raise those children to be as loving and accepting as you are. MLK was right, and so are you. Unconditional love HAS to have the final say in situations such as these.

Honey Mommy said...

That is just horrible. I can't imagine living next to someone like that. I hope your situation improves.

By the way, your pictures are gorgeous and so are the children.

LceeL said...

If she is old, and alone, she's most likely afraid. Of everything. Make friends. Make food and offer it. And introduce Kaish.

mamamia said...

That really is crazy. Maybe her meds are off. It is really hard for me to believe that she would say those things to the kids. What in the world! Have you tried leaving her presents on her door step? I don't think she will change, but at least the boys will see you loving the nasty.

Molly Doe said...

I am so sorry that ugliness and hatred is being introduced to your sweet boy and friend.
You are handling the situation beautifully- with class and grace. I think the best you can do is continue to set an example for your children: that even though others may have hatred and ugliness in their hearts, we do not have to allow that ugliness into our lives and hearts.

Mama Kat said...

Disgusting. I want to punch her in the face. I don't care how old she is. You don't do that to ANYONE and you sure as hell don't do that to little boys.

Thank you ugly old neighbor for writing your nasty autograph on my son's memory book.

I don't know what I would do. Kill her with kindness...make a game of it. Bring her flowers and cookies. Wave excitedly every time you see her "HI NEIGHBOR!!!! NEIGHBOR!! OVER HERE!!! HI!!!!!!"

What an angry mean old lady.

Liz (Loving Mom 2 Boys) said...

I am so sorry that your boys were subjected to this - how awful for them and for you.

I commend you for how you handled it. You are teaching your boys that this is a sad fact of life, and you are not just telling them, but showing them how to rise above it - and I think that is fantastic!! Her views would not be changed by you yelling back at her, or letting the boys yell at her or torment her in anyway (even as simple as playing in "their" yard), you would only strengthen her resolve that you are not good people.

I am so impressed with your calm in trying to settle things with her peacefully. And I do really like Kat's idea of killing her with kindness!! (a friendly wave and smile never hurt anyone!!)

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debi9kids said...

OMGosh! I don't even know what to say. I am so thankful we haven't run into anything so bad in our family yet.
I'm so sorry.

jaerose said...

Beautiful children - such life in those photos..Unfortunately it does seem that the world (or some people in the world) doesn't recognise that. Thanks for your visit Jae

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

I am really speechless. She is probably just an uneducated, bitter old woman. I'm sorry there are people like her.

And I'm sorry the children are learning about this stuff at such a young age. But the truth is, they are going to have to learn it sooner or later. What a creepy old woman.

I'd put a flaming terd on her doorstep. Ha ha, I'm kidding. But that WOULD be kind of funny, wouldn't it? Seriously, you just do as you have been. I would totally ignore her. If she yells at you, shakes her fist at you, whatever, I would just ignore her. Difficult, I know. But no good will come of anything you try.

Dianne said...

I have been in this place
We had a neighbor back when my son was 5 who claimed he "destroyed" her property by riding his Hot Wheels on the sidewalk - public street.
She called him a Nigger many times
She told other children not to play with him, that he would hurt them, he would steal their toys
For the most part the other children and their parents were helpful but this caused my son so much pain and made him learn about racism far too soon
I never did try to talk to her - I was young and did not trust myself to stay calm - I had already had situations with other people that turned ugly
It never got better with her
We avoided her as much as we could

I do think you should tell the police, there is no telling what she could do and there should be a record

I am so sorry and I want to hug you all

I have been there, it never gets easier

RR Mama said...

Clearly she is the racist and terrorist! I hate that the kids are having to learn about this so early, but you are right it is a fact of life they are going to have to face at some point. I suggest you make a wall of snowmen, yes several, facing her driveway. Make them all have funny faces and have sticks for arms, waving at her! And if she starts any of her crap, you scream at her...I CALL POLICE, because clearly she is the threat!!!
Love you!!! ps I'm coming with the boys to play in the snow!!!!!!!

Leiah said...

Seriously? Someone who has a problem with children playing outside and being children, has more problems that this anyone in this world will ever be able to solve. Thank goodness your boys have you as their mom! Stopping by from SITS ~ Happy Saturday Sharefest!

Queenie Jeannie said...

Frankly, I would have called the cops. Freedom of speech only goes so far, and I'd want the documentation!! Sorry this happened to you guys!!

On a positive note, wow!, on the snow you guys got! We finally have a bit here but nothing like you have. Fun stuff!!!

Brandi said...

That is awful! I hate that Kaish and his friend have to deal with this terrible woman! You are doing what is right. Although my instinct would have been to hold up my fist with a middle finger... I digress!! Not in front of the children atleast! LOL!
Did you say she was elderly? Maybe there is a family member of hers that you could speak with. You have rights - and I think when she said "call the cops" I would have said, "Don't bother, I already did!" Freedom of speach only goes so far - she has no right to make your HOME uncomfortable! I know the cops can't haul her away - but they can scare her enough to keep her mouth shut. Again, though, if she is elderly - a family member may be the best bet. I have worked with the elderly and if (and when!) we have problems with them on their behavior - a small scolding from their adult children goes a LONG way! :)

Acting Balanced Mom said...

Stopping by from SITS - I am so sorry that your neighbourhood has to deal with this person... my only thought is to 'kill her with kindness'. My other thought that if she behaves that way that she may be mentally ill and not have full control of her senses... I feel bad for the boys, but maybe this is a lesson in tolerance for them :( I really hope things improve for everyone in the neighbourhood.

She Writes said...

UGH! Ick! What can I say? I hate ignorance. I am sorry to hear this happening to you guys!

Jean Stockdale said...

I am so saddened to read your post. I cannot imagine what would cause anyone to scream such cruel words at your boys. I can only imagine she is a very miserable person. I think you handled yourself well and I love that you included that you tried to explain to your children. I am sure this gave validity to thier emotions and questions as you talked this through with them.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Our power outage had some great fun moments, like Sadie (our boxer) and my husband. I thought it was the funniest thing when I woke up and saw trying to crawl up in the chair with him. The picture still makes me laugh out loud.

We survived the power outage without too much trouble. Many dear friends provided meals and much needed coffee for us. It actually gave us some time to read without worrying about what else we should be doing!

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day. Blessings.

Amy said...

I kind of want to egg your neighbor's house. Is that a bad thing? Bless you for having the strength to understand that SHE is in fact the one who has a problem, not you and your lovely family.

Thanks for visiting my blog!

mimbles said...

Beautiful photographs and a heart-breaking story. My heart goes out to you and the kids and I hope you can find a way to peace with your neighbour, even if only of the leave each other alone variety.

Teacher Tom said...

I don't need to meet this woman to know she lives a sad, miserable life and is trying to relieve herself somehow by making others as miserable as her.

I grew up in South Carolina during court mandated school desegregation. We learned in that process which of our neighbors were racists and which were not. Reflecting back on those days, I can't believe the hateful things that people (grown-ups, no less) told me behind my own parent's backs. I continue to be shocked (although I know I shouldn't be) when these opinions are expressed today.

You ask if we can think of anything you could have done differently. All I can think of is the hardest thing of all -- that "unconditional love" MLK was talking about. Why is it that the good people are given the most difficult work? =)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I hate to go the police route, but I would call and have harassment charges filed. Your children can't even be children and have fun. What an evil woman.

THe other option is pray that she moves and fast.

You are doing the best you can. If you need us to...we blog readers of yours will fly out there and march on her home. That would be cool, eh?

Also, sounds like she may have some mental issues too. I feel sorry that she's so hateful....sorry for her a little, but more sorry for all of you.

Awesome photos to go along with this though...love the shots of them throwing snow.

MommyNamedApril said...

wow. just wow.

can you talk to your HOA? this is totally inappropriate behavior (duh). maybe there is something in the bylaws to restrict her???

love the photos, btw :-)

septembermom said...

Oh, I'm so sad to hear that this woman could be so heartless and cruel to children with her words and gestures. Your children are so beautiful. I feel terrible that they had to feel that hurt. Hugs!!

Nan Sheppard said...

Oh yeah, I'd call the police for HER...

Shelle said...

sounds like we have the exact same neighbours....ours moved in about 3years ago. She is rarely seen. He called us on the phone and threatened us and our kids. He calls the police every chance he gets, if my kids go outside. He curses at the neighbourhood kids when they walk past his house...accusing everyone of ruining his garden. He's called CPS on us, and i have a feeling it's more than once!

i've lost it with him...he accused me of terrorizing our neighbourhood by my son walking out the front door with our dog! some girls up the street screamed. wow!

i used to be polite...this time i told him the only one who was terrorizing the neighbourhood was him. I told him our neighbourhood was perfectly fine until he moved in. (they actually removed the steps from their front verandah and now the only access to their house in thru the back)

but i'm going to tell you...the reason is just that...it's racism and you won't be able to do a thing about it....these people hate and they will never change. (my dh is part portugese, pueto rican & black) You just have to keep a record of the incidents and you can file a complaint if you need to with your council for harrassment and call the police if she threatens your kids again. She will back down. Unfortunately sometimes you can't be nice, and you have to do what needs to be done just to stand your ground and let her know that you simply won't be treated like that! this should end your problems with her...but she'll still hate!

but onto nicer things...you guy got a lot of snow...i guess we were lucky the last batch last week missed Long Island. some places got 6ft. love the pics. Kash is wearing my favourite colour...orange!

Soliloquy said...

For now, I'm in the "kill her with kindness" camp - although don't overdo it. For two reasons.

1. This woman needs to be given a different perspective on who these children are. She sees them as an aggravation only because she doesn't know their hearts.

2. Your kids need to know the TRUTH ABOUT THEMSELVES. They may feel like they've done something wrong (even though they haven't and surely you've told them so - kids internalize things like this incorrectly). Giving the boys a chance to reach out in kindness - maybe writing a letter introducing themselves and telling her they didn't mean to bother her or be disrespectful - will give them the confidence of knowing they have taken the high road and given this woman the chance to know them.

If it continues after that, then YES. HOA, Police.... the boys need the security of knowing there will be some accountability for heinous words and actions.

Shelle said...

oh i should add too...just be careful...this neighbour of ours has literally divided our whole street and rallied 1/2 of it against us! The other 1/2 have told us what the scheme is. So basically if we ever park our car outside in front of our house for a minute and it's too far...we'll be reported! it's gotten that bad! You do really have to use the authorities so they can hopefully put a stop to 'everything'.

Sarah @ When two becomes three... said...

Hi Beckz.

Sometimes people just don't make any sense. It must be hard right now for you as it's so close to home. I had a horrid neighbour in our last house. She had mental issues that we were unaware of until it was smack dab in our face and it was like we were at war with her. Me being me, tried to take the nice road but it severely backfired. In my experience, all you can do is ignore ignore ignore or move. But it taints home life doesn't it. In our lives, we all face oppression on some level but it seems so unfair for children so young to deal with it. But K man and his friends have the best defense. They have you Beckz. And your love and caring cancels out what that woman said. You are an amazing Momma and teached to those boys. Wish I lived closer so I could help in person.

Sorry if I am repeating what others said. Too many comments to read through. But of course I had to have my say.

Sending Valentine's love and I forgive you for not posting a Sunday Citar. :O)

The Redhead Riter said...

That is just a horrible situation to be in and apparently no way out.

On a more positive note, your pics are GORGEOUS! I love, love, love all the snow!

Happy Valentine's Day!
A special note for you...
http://theredheadriter.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-spy-valentines-day.html

Victoria. {TheYummyMummySecrets} said...

What a rude women. I hate how some people just steriotype people & they are children.

Btw I love your photos. I wish we had snow here.

Muthering Heights said...

Oh.My.Goodness!!!!

This story just breaks my heart! Your boys are the sweetest things, I can't imagine anyone being so angry with them as to say such awful things!!!

Do you rent your townhouse? Or are you part of a homeowner's association? If so, I would call that governing body RIGHT AWAY. They may be able to put out some kind of statement about community use of the yard. After all, if it is a space for everyone, your boys should be allowed to play on it!!

Otherwise, I would seriously call the police. You never know what she is going to say or do next, so it would be good to have a record of what has happened so far.

I will pray for your family. I think you did the right thing in encouraging your precious boys to be kind to her, despite her hateful attitude!

Liz said...

Rebeckah you are my hero! How you handled that was awesome! Me on the other hand would probably be sitting back scheming on how I would get her back. That's my demon.... revenge and anger. I'm working on those. I am SO sorry that both boys had to hear such hatred coming from someone. They did not deserve that at all! She is a bitter angry woman! How sad!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

Becks-

This is just ridiculous. I really can not believe that people are ignorant enough to call another human being something like that and especially a child. She is a miserable excuse and a horrible example of what humanity should be like.

PS..If I was your neighbor, I would invite Kaish in and we would devise a plan to show that neighbor a fist or 2 of our own!!!

Hugs!

T

Kara @ His, Hers and Ours said...

This is one of the most disgusting things I have EVER heard. My heart literally aches for these boys. How dare that old woman. I'm all about killing people with kindness too, but it sounds like you have gone above and beyond that. Sadly, the boys are getting a life lesson way too young, and what's even more sad is that it's coming from an elder in their community who should be respected. Wow!

And your snow pics are just amazing!! Love them! And yes, this Florida girl is JEALOUS!!

Marla said...

I am so sorry that your sweet son is having to experience this. I think you are probably dealing with it the best you can. Honestly, ignoring the women completely would probably be the best solution. I am so sorry the boys are having to go through this.

Sue said...

I think this woman is totally disgusting!! YOU are teaching your children by your example. Kindness and caring is what they will remember from this episode and you will know that you were the one that created this in these wonderful young hearts and minds!!!
Good luck and keep sharing!

Unknown Mami said...

I can not stop crying. They are tears of anger, despair, and disappointment.

I think you should call the police. I am completely and totally serious. That woman is using hate language on children. I don't know what the laws are like where you live, but calling people those horrid names is considered a hate crime where I live. You need to protect those children. I understand that she will probably never physically hurt the children, but what she is doing is far worse.

You need to get this documented. What she is doing is abuse. They are children. Shoot you might even be able to get a restraining order. I know it would be better to maintain peace, but she has crossed a line.

I am beyond livid. I can only imagine how you feel. Please let me know what happens. This is not something I will forget about.

I am so sorry that those two beautiful children were exposed to such ugliness. I do not believe that they need to be understanding because what she did is sooo unbelievably wrong.

littletoesandcheerios said...

OK, like at first I was mad (terrorist crap)...then had cold chills...then wanted to give that fist "the bird"...then teared up that she used the "N" WORD!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I too would document and try to just lay low and keep it all on record. We know she's an idiot...and I hope Kaish knows how beautiful we all think he is. Sharing our children's stories is what this is all about for most of us.
Big ((HUGS)) to those boys from me. Keep us posted on this please.

Sarah said...

Wow... just, wow. I don't look forward to the day my son comes home after someone has thrown a racial slur his way.

It takes a really cold-hearted adult to demean, demoralize, and throw hate at a child.

Maria @BOREDmommy said...

It blows my mind that people talk like that, let alone to children. I would definitely call the police the next time something happens - regardless of her age or background, she has no right to talk to anyone like that, including your children.

Shocking.

Melissa said...

Oh my! What a way for children to learn things the hard way, from such a bitter woman!

My only suggestion is to contact the homeowners/condo association and file a complaint.

Tina Lane said...

I am sorry to hear you and your family was exposed to this. I grew up in a culturally diverse place and I still dealt with these types of things growing up and even more often as an adult.

Maybe focus on educating the kids and realize your neighbor is a miserable unhappy human being looking to lash out for whatever reason she can find. Make sure the kids know it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with her.

Monkey's Mama said...

I am so so sorry to hear about this. What a horrible woman! You have handled it much more calmly than I would and I applaud you. I think the best you can do is talk with the kids so they know it's not them as you can't control her behavior (although it sucks that you can't!!)

Patti said...

Well you know you've got company when you hit 157+ comments! And I'm thinking that I need to walk outside and check a couple of doors down to see if you live near me! Do we really have the same neighbor?!! Mine does very similar stuff and actually turned the hose on my kids when they were little for playing on the sidewalk in front of her house. Crazy lady. And yes, they had to learn at an early age that life isn't always fair and not all old people are sweet as pie. Oh ps: I gave up a long time ago trying to be kind and doing the niceties. She still hates us.

Tracey Axnick said...

This saddens my heart terribly. That these poor precious innocent children have to see the VENOM in this bitter old woman.

Yes, you should pray for her.

BUT you also need to take steps to protect your family, because it sounds like she is unbalanced. I would file a formal complaint with your HOA and I would also call the police. The fact that she did this to children is unacceptable (to do it to anyone is BAD, but to it to children is completely unacceptable).
There needs to be something on record about her, Becky.

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Hatred is a horrible thing. I hope and pray her heart will change, but barring a True Miracle .... I don't know.

Blessings to you. Give your beauitful boy (and his friend) a hug from me. It is a shame that they have had to see this.

Jillien said...

That woman's behavior is appalling! I can't imagine how you must feel--trying to protect your son from such horrendous and hurtful words. SOmetimes words hurt more than strikes, right?!

Being latino, i just dealt with stereotypes and generalizations, like people asking if my mom cleaned houses and things like that. But i have NEVER experienced anything like this. I'm so sorry to hear that you're living next to such hatred. I will be sending prayers your way!

JM

Justine said...

This I cannot believe. Or no, I CAN, but I don't want to! Who could look at your beautiful children and say anything disgusting about them? I hurt for you, because if it was my children being slandered in such a way it would cut like a knife.

My only suggestion is, MOVE. I know, stupid suggestion but it's the only thing I can think of. I don't know where you live, but I wish I was nearby to give you a hug.

Justine :o )

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This is appalling beyond belief.

I am with Unknown Mami. I would make a police report and got to the HOA.

I had a friend who had a similar situation in her complex (no racial epithets, but similar child-hating issues). They ended up in mediation -which actually helped a fair amount.

Krystyn said...

It looks like such a great time. How could somebody ruin it like that? I'm pretty sure you should call your HOA or even the cops...I don't think that's legal. So sorry people are so rotten and mean like that.

Taryn said...

O.M.G. I was in shock reading your story!! It is so sad that some people can't see past skin color to the beauty within. :(

Elle Bee said...

This was so startling. I can't imagine what it must feel like to live near someone like that. I'm so sorry you have to endure it.

Reading this tells me so much more about you though. I love the way you speak to the children. I love the way you teach kindness and respect even in the face of such abhorrence--you are full of grace.