Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Top Ten Reasons I can not Sleep at night

 Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop

has wonderful prompts this week!

Here is the prompt I am picking:

10 reasons why you can't sleep at night
(inspired by Roxane from
It Really Is All About Me)

Well, here is what happens to me!

Every. Single. Night.

I crawl into our new king sized bed.

Do not be too excited for me yet!

bed Just about the time I am

PERFECTLY plopped

amidst the pillows,

sweet Gary says “I guess I AM hungry.”

He says it like that because,

of course I offered him a snack

BEFORE crawling into the covers.

bed 2 So, since I am the absolute

NICEST girl in the world,

(not to toot my own horn or anything…)

I head back downstairs for a snack.

Before leaving I ask for

any special requests.

He always says, “Whatever.”

Well, in my WORLD,

Whatever, means chips.

So I get some.

I tromp back up the stairs.

He opens the bag

as I re settle into the covers.

THEN he says,

“I guess there wasn’t anything

sweet down there, huh?”

bed 4Is he kidding me?

He is NOT kidding.

I get back out of bed

and go down to find some brownies

that I baked : )

(and we all know how

FAB my cooking and baking is…)

‘This will surely make him happy.’

I think in my mind…

Back up the stairs I go.

He takes a bite

while I (once again) jump into our bed.

Then he says, “I don’t know if

I like this kind of brownie.”

And I say,

“What on earth are you talking about?

Brownies are brownies.”

brownie

And he says,

“Well, I can definitely tell

these are not the kind I like.”

and then he sighs.

SIGHS!

So I gracefully

(and by gracefully I mean

THROW off the covers,

SEND glaring evil eye looks,

and MUTTER under my breath)

exit the bed and go try ONE final time..

I get him a drumstick.

bed 3  He loves it.

He gobbles it up.

All the while muttering that a drumstick

was what he wanted in the first place…

Crazy Boy!

bed 5 And speaking of crazy boys,

at just about that time,

my own crazy boy wakes up.

He can’t sleep.

He wants to listen to Delilah on the radio.

And he NEEDS me to lay beside him.

bed 6 I comply!

And I fall asleep of course.

When I wake up at approximately 2:00 am

I traipse back over to my bed.

Only it has caved in on my side.

Seriously.

Our bed is CAVED in on one side.

I have asked Gary to fix it one million times.

He says it is my imagination

(Do I seem like someone

with an overactive imagination?

So anyway,

while I can deal with the tilting bed

at bedtime,

I can not deal with it at 2:00 am

I turn off the TV and

curl up at the bottom of the bed.

bed 7 I am just starting to drift off when

Gary pops up.

“Who turned off the TV?” he asks.

“A robber” I tell him

as I roll over and

my face smacks into his FEET!

Gary says, “Now that you woke me up-

I need the tv on to go back to sleep.”

I.Kid. You. Not.

I burrow under the blanket

and pray he is sleep talking.

bed 8

The TV goes back on.

I fall back asleep.

That is, until, I wake up FREEZING cold

because Gary has stolen all of the covers.

bed 9

And by this point,

well, let’s just say,

I pray the morning is coming soon!

Do you sleep the whole night thru?

I keep telling Gary

that since I am having all these sleep issues,

and I am up all night all the time,

we might as well have a baby.

He doesn’t answer.

He is too busy eating his drumstick….

60 comments:

Mighty M said...

Oh my, that is quite the night. I don't let my husband eat in bed, it is too distracting to my ears. And I can't stand the TV being on if I'm trying to sleep, even if it's muted I hate the darn flashing it does when it's on. Have you considered separate rooms? Or twin beds? :)

Kimmy said...

OMG!! LOL! You poor thing! Yeah, those are the days of restless babies (or arguments with my hubby in the wee hours of the night). Otherwise, once I hit that pillow, I'm out in less than 5 min.

Good luck with this!

H.K. said...

This was hilarious! I laughed out loud mainly because our husbands sounds so familiar.

He & Me + 3 said...

Too funny...I never sleep through the night. Usually my own fault.

staceyjwarner said...

OMG, this is a nightmare. I pray it is not true...is it?

You do have a big baby in the bed! LOL!

I sleep through the night, easily and happily. TV on while sleeping there is NOTHING worse.

much love

Yelena R. said...

Hahaha, this is too funny...probably not for you, but for me this post was quite entertaining :)

That being said, I'm going to cherish my years as a single person as long as I can!

Linds said...

Hahaha... I love this post! You are much more patient than I; I wouldn't have even gotten up once for my DH. He knows not to wake the sleeping dragon :)

Marilyn said...

HAA! VERY cute post! Love it and a baby is just what you need to induce sleep. To answer your question, no. I only sleep 45 min to an hr at a time. I'm up by 3:30 rearing to go and it's down hill from there.

gretchen said...

Very witty post...it is almost like Dr. Seuss. So, I hope this is not a totally true story...:)

Jen said...

I never sleep through the night either. And I say stop being nice and make him get his own Drumstick.

KrisFlower said...

I've had a hard week and you just made me laugh, thank you! Also, a big thanks for introducing me to Mama Kats...I think I will post something!

cheers,
Kristi

Ruby Red Slippers said...

That is too funny-sorry!
You know, I usually sleep just fine-everyone here is sleeping through the night really good...but last night was a crazy one-
My 8 year old was sick all night-up every two hours throwing up...poor guy-so I was too, making sure he was ok as he did what he had to do...so it may only be 8:30 right now, but I am in my bed, the kids are (feeling great) in bed, and my hubby is studying downstairs-I will be sleeping VERY soon, and hope it will be a good night tonight!

stephanie garcia said...

You are too funny! But I am sorry you aren't getting your rest. And I think the baby idea sounds completely reasonable ... :)

Alicia said...

LOL, you are a very patient lady!! But, how nice that you spoil your hubby like that!!

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Seriously? I think I would have hit something. Or someONE. :) You are full of patience, my friend.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Gary is lucky he lived to read this post :-)
You are GOOD!
xoxoxo

Connie Weiss said...

And I thought I had it bad! I used the same prompt!

Karen Deborah said...

OMG I would kill him. You are way too sweet. Tell him to go to the kitchen and eat and come back later, then you'll be alseep and he'll find the caved in side and FIX it!!! LOL.

I think a BABY would be great!!!! After he eats his snacks you can work on that one...you are so cute.

Cole said...

I'm an insomniac, so EVERY night is like that.

I'm sorry that it's happening to you though. And let sweet, sweet Gary fix the bed and get you a treat once in a while!

Jason, as himself said...

Is this a true story? If it is, you are way nicer in the night than I am. If my sleep gets disturbed more than once or twice I get REALLY SUPER grouchy. And if Giancarlo said he was hungry I would just go right on drifting off to sleep. His legs aren't painted on, after all!

See? You're way nicer than I am at night.

Lolli said...

Hahaha! Now I want a drumstick!

Baloney said...

My husband is sounding better and better.
Too funny! It does sound like baby time? I mean, if you can get past the anger or frustration from the rest of your story - LOL.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I'm a really light sleeper and every little noise wakes me up. My husband snores like a freight train so I don't get much sleep except when he travels for business ...

Erin said...

OMG that is funny...horrible but funny! Maybe you need your own bed? But hey next time you are up....I'll take a drumstick too! =)

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

Please tell me that was a dream... or a nightmare...

Really this is a true story? If so... you are quite the girl! LOL!

This was very entertaining...and I imagine every moment of your story... Laughing because I cannot believe that this actually happened and if it did... you deserve a baby! :D

Betty Manousos:cutand-dry.blogspot.com said...

OMG!! What a creative blog!!.
Just found in the comments section of another blog and i'm glad i did!:),
I'm your new follower, and i 'd love if you add your blog to mine.
Have a great time!

P.S. Awesome pics!!

Nessa said...

Very funny. Good thing you don't have an overactive imagination. My husband is a terrible blanket stealer, so in my defense and preservation we had individual blankets on our bed.

Dona Nobis Pacem & Thursday Thirteen

Dot O said...

You ARE a patient woman..... God luv ya for all of those trips you made for Gary.

I do have a solution - Tylenol PM - you won't hear anything once you drift off...

Take care and make him eat his snack before he goes to bed!!!

Busy Bee Suz said...

I sleep all night...well until my bladder will let me.
I need Gary to call me. I need to tell him how lucky/spoiled he is. I need him to know that no one on this wonderful planet would be caught dead eating brownies/chips/icecream in my bed. At night? nah. during the day? NAH! You have spoiled these boys...
Don't you know we need our beauty sleep???? You have to cut them both off. Mama needs her sleep!!
:)

When did I become my Mom said...

LOL! You poor dear! I haaaate the TV on when Im trying to sleep!

Now I have a craving for a drumstick :-)

Teacher Tom said...

Ha! Hilarious.

When I can't sleep at night it almost always involves the dogs.

brainella said...

Dang! I just get hit with the pillow from time to time with hubby rolling over. I think I'd find me a new bed! :)

TheLittleFlower said...

Hey,
Normally if I can't sleep at night is because I'm hungry...(LOL?)

And on most occasions,if I already took a looonnnggg nap in the afternoon,I will never be able to get any sleep at night! :)

Nurse Nancy said...

You are a good woman.

CaJoh said...

Stopping by from Mama Kat's

I must admit that my wife and I have our own little routine before bedtime. Whenever I am too tired, she tends to get angry because without our routine it is difficult for her to get to sleep. I on the other hand have no difficulty sleeping through the night— unless I am woke by my wife who needs something to help her sleep.

Thank you for sharing,

mamamia said...

lol, I am sorry to say that this was absolutely hilarious. I mean, bent over, gasping for air hilarious! I am sorry to get a good laugh at your expense! I am sorry he is too busy eating a drumstick to answer your baby question. He obviously needs to have a tiny refrigerator put in next to his side of the bed, so that he can get HIS OWN snacks!

Big Mama Cass said...

HAHAHA!! You are soooo much nicer than me! :)

Dan said...

Treatment can begin with (one) a few simple rule(s):

1) No food service after bedtime.
2) No eating in bed
3) No TV in the bedroom

Or you could just give up and spend all night on the son's bed - and wake up really really stiff. {*grin*}

marfmom said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh today. You are a SAINT!

antoinette marie said...

first let me say, this is truly one of your best stories ever.....i was cracking up throughout! second, some nights yeah and some nights neigh....just found out that i have a chronic disease that is accompanied with sleeplessness....so it's off and on! but if it makes you feel any less alone in the matter, i too sleep upside down with my little boy that is, cause he hogs the bed and i like to sprawl! blessings...

RR Mama said...

At least your story starts with a King Size Bed! I'm still in a Queen, with a blanket hogging husband, two boys ages 9 and 4 and a dog!!! HELP!!!!!!

Liz said...

That was so funny! Sorry you don't get much sleep!

Sherrlyn Borkgren Photography said...

what a great writer you are, and it all looks like the life we all should be living---off the computer!

Los said...

Sounds like a Nyquil night to me! How do you do it?

Live.Love.Eat said...

OMG!!!! I feel terrible for you. You are too nice and you need to tell Mr. Drumstick to get his own :) Most nights I do sleep straight through but I know how it feels not to be able to and I don't like it!!! Not one bit.

the monkey's mama said...

ohhhhhhhh my. this is hilarious and sad and hopefully...not all true? right? it can't be...? What a night!

Jennifer Bowen said...

LOL I love you, Rebeckah! Your real life stories always make me laugh. You just have a way of telling them. What would my day be like without reading your blog? Probably boring. Gary and his drumstick... priceless. HA HA HA

The Royal Family said...

I missed writters workshop this week. Love your pics above for give me your best shot. Thanks for stopping by my blog,.

Michelle said...

Ok aside from the eating in bed that just isn't allowed in my house (no food out of the kitchen except for me who's allowed to eat in the family room - shhhh), I'm just stuck on the fact that you get out of bed -- multiple times -- to get snacks. You are SO much nicer than I am ;)

for the love of pictures said...

Great story, but wow, that sounds like a rough night! Very nice pic choices to go along with it and everything :)

Thanks for stopping by my blog - and for commenting - btw. Hope you stop by again sometime :)

Yaya said...

Haha! Wow, you are really nice!

SKELLER said...

hehehe. not only do you find the best quotes, but you're a mighty fine writer all on your own!! I snickered my way thru your hilarious sleep (or not asleep, as the case may be) account.

the older I get, the worse I sleep.
sigh.

Sarah said...

Oh my word! This had me in stitches! Now I want a drumstick!

Laurie said...

Thanks for giving me a giggle K'sM. I love your blog ...your pictures, and quotes, and stories are so real and comforting!

That's the word for you ...comforting.

Thank-you!

Megan said...

LOL I think by the second time I'd say screw you, go get your own snack! Haha!!

Rachel said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA that totally cracked me up. In an "I feel for ya" way. So sorry about the lack of sleep, but glad that you brought us along for the ride :)

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