Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop
has wonderful prompts this week!
Here is the prompt I am picking:
10 reasons why you can't sleep at night
(inspired by Roxane from It Really Is All About Me)
Well, here is what happens to me!
Every. Single. Night.
I crawl into our new king sized bed.
Do not be too excited for me yet!
amidst the pillows,
sweet Gary says “I guess I AM hungry.”
He says it like that because,
of course I offered him a snack
BEFORE crawling into the covers.
So, since I am the absolute
NICEST girl in the world,
(not to toot my own horn or anything…)
I head back downstairs for a snack.
Before leaving I ask for
any special requests.
He always says, “Whatever.”
Well, in my WORLD,
Whatever, means chips.
So I get some.
I tromp back up the stairs.
He opens the bag
as I re settle into the covers.
THEN he says,
“I guess there wasn’t anything
sweet down there, huh?”
Is he kidding me?
He is NOT kidding.
I get back out of bed
and go down to find some brownies
that I baked : )
(and we all know how
FAB my cooking and baking is…)
‘This will surely make him happy.’
I think in my mind…
Back up the stairs I go.
He takes a bite
while I (once again) jump into our bed.
Then he says, “I don’t know if
I like this kind of brownie.”
And I say,
“What on earth are you talking about?
Brownies are brownies.”
And he says,
“Well, I can definitely tell
these are not the kind I like.”
and then he sighs.
So I gracefully
(and by gracefully I mean
THROW off the covers,
SEND glaring evil eye looks,
and MUTTER under my breath)
exit the bed and go try ONE final time..
I get him a drumstick.
He gobbles it up.
All the while muttering that a drumstick
was what he wanted in the first place…
at just about that time,
my own crazy boy wakes up.
He can’t sleep.
He wants to listen to Delilah on the radio.
And he NEEDS me to lay beside him.
And I fall asleep of course.
When I wake up at approximately 2:00 am
I traipse back over to my bed.
Only it has caved in on my side.
Our bed is CAVED in on one side.
I have asked Gary to fix it one million times.
He says it is my imagination
(Do I seem like someone
with an overactive imagination?
while I can deal with the tilting bed
I can not deal with it at 2:00 am
I turn off the TV and
curl up at the bottom of the bed.
Gary pops up.
“Who turned off the TV?” he asks.
“A robber” I tell him
as I roll over and
my face smacks into his FEET!
Gary says, “Now that you woke me up-
I need the tv on to go back to sleep.”
I.Kid. You. Not.
I burrow under the blanket
and pray he is sleep talking.
The TV goes back on.
I fall back asleep.
That is, until, I wake up FREEZING cold
because Gary has stolen all of the covers.
And by this point,
well, let’s just say,
I pray the morning is coming soon!
Do you sleep the whole night thru?
I keep telling Gary
that since I am having all these sleep issues,
and I am up all night all the time,
we might as well have a baby.
He doesn’t answer.
He is too busy eating his drumstick….