Monday, August 3, 2009

Are you afraid?

I keep meaning to do a post about

Scary Mommy Bloggers.

You know who I mean-

they have at least 3 children

and usually a set of multiples because that is just tres chic!

If they only have one, it’s because they are young,

but don’t fear,

they are well on their way to producing the requisite number!

So who are these Scary Mommies,

well, they are first and foremost,

Happy and Perky ALL THE TIME.

I do mean all.the.time.

Their children,

well, they are bloody geniuses.

They take French and Latin

and of course they speak English

better than a college Senior majoring in English.

Oh, and how old are these fluent speakers

of multiple languages?

Almost 5.

How did they get so smart, you might wonder?

Well, of course the children are homeschooled!

What intelligent mother would EVER consider

Public School.

Not these Moms.

They actually WEAR their babies.

And of course they breast feed.

And these special mothers would Never Even Consider

Throw Away Diapers.

These mothers are proud owners and users

of Reusable Cloth Diapers.

They talk patterns…

They eat organic.

They have their own gardens.

The children NEVER misbehave.


They go to church all the time.

They run 10 miles a night.

While wearing their babies.

And teaching them sign language.

Basically, they are perfect.

You know them.

You have been to their pages!

When I first started blogging I was

alarmed at how completely inadequate

I was when compared to these Heroes of motherhood.

There were SO many.

And then one day,  I thought in my head, in their life can not be this perfect.

They have to be faking it.

And why in the world would you want to fake it?

I mean, motherhood is many things.

Glamorous? Not so much.

Can’t these women be happy to be normal.

Do they have to be PeRfEcT

and have pErFeCt children?

When I met this blogger

who actually calls herself Scary Mommy

I was instantly in love.scary mommy 1

This Mom is real.

Real and Cool!

Learning and Growing.

I would rather be like her,

than all the baby wearing, organic pea eating,

perfect children raising mothers

on the planet : )

When she emailed to say that

I had won a picture this week?

I just about died of happiness.

Thankfully I am still alive : )

so I will be able to enjoy this AWESOME picture.

I will show you the picture naji rock star when it comes.

I really don’t know which picture to pick.

Feel free to leave suggestions : ).

Do you know real Scary Mommies?

If you think this post is about you,

Don’t worry, it’s not : )

It’s really about being fake

when you don’t have to be.

Here in blog world,

imperfect is perfect.

Come as you are,

Perfectly Imperfect Mommy’s are always welcome here!

How many languages do your children speak?

Kaish speaks English like a RoCk StAr.

A Normal Third Grade Rock Star.kaish rock star

That is his only language right now.

And I am OK with that.

Cause I am not scary : ) Are you? scary mommy


themrs said...

you literally made me laugh out loud! i think we all know a few of those moms. the funny thing is that i'm finding i may be a little TOO real on my blog. i have people IRL saying "oh you like to cuss and your kids had cake for breakfast?"

Busy Bee Suz said...

I know this is not about me because I only run 9 miles a day wearing my baby. (who weighs more than me now)
you are too funny.
Yup, no one is perfect and if they are trying to convince others of this, they are missing the boat on fun. :)
Congrats on winning. I would never be able to choose which photo to use!!!

Nessa said...

The internet is the only place I have ever seen these mommies. In real life, their delusions don't hold up.

* * *
Please visit me at The Chrysalis Stage and Esoteric Uncovered.

Follow me on twitter and facebook

Grandma J said...

You are pretty close to perfect. I love those pictures of Kaishon.

bluecottonmemory said...

Thanks for coming by my site, visitng, and leaving such a comment hug! I so love your post. I wish my children spoke other languages. When you study 17th century lit., most "educated" children did; of course, most of them were either sent away to school or were homeschooled by a tutor. It's amazing what can be taught in the right environment.

No, I'm not one of those scary mommies; I have homeschooled, but not right now. It's amazing what your children can learn when homeschooled.

I wish I could run 10 miles wearing or not wearing a baby.

I wish I were perfect and my boys were perfect.

I don't think perfect is real life. Perfect is more like being in heaven,and this is not heaven.

I love the energy, the smiling words, the point! However, my boys would say that I have scary mommy moments, but what mom worth her salt doesn't? ( I think their definition of scary mommy is different than yours--LOL)

Puna said...

haha! I know you're talking about me, but I'm not taking personally! I love your new blog look by the way. And I love your photos too! Off to feed my kids their organic pea and range free chicken dinners.

KMilty said...

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I can't even count the hours (actually weeks, months & years) that I worried about keeping up with these type of moms. I have since relaxed about so many things in regards to how I raise my boys and I'm a much happier person!

And gosh husband was right! He always told me to stop comparing myself to other "scary" moms and stop trying to keep up with them because when it was all said & done, did I really want to be one of them? I guess I just wanted to fit in.

The even SCARIER thing is that in our little community you can actually meet these people in real life!!!! AARRRGH!!

Thanks for a laugh on a day when I needed it most!

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha! I laugh but sadly I agree with you too! I have a sister who is so perfect that her house is always clean (except when you go by there unexpected), Never feeds her daughter fast food (Except when she is in a hurry), always gives her child gerber foods (but then she also buys those frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (YUCK!), Her daughter never gets to watch TV (yet she can recite every episode of Dora), her daughter is very well behaved (except when I watch her and she won't share because she is an only child and always fights with my kids, Never learns anything naughty (Except when she comes to my house because apparently my kids teach her bad things, I am a child abuser (because I spank my kids (but I have caught her out of anger swatting her child... but that is besides the point) and I am also a bad pet owner because I sometimes forget to feed my dog (yet she has killed two bunnies from heat exhaustion in less then six months... Yes she is the perfect mother compared to me and her and her husband make sure that I am well aware of all the mistakes I make!

It used to bother me... now I just laugh because I realize that her life isn't as perfect as she portrays but it is her way of controlling her life is by pretending that it is a fairytale. It is her motivation for the day that people think she is perfect, it is her self confidence that people envy her and what she has... but in reality the brand new house, cars, and furniture are just monthly bills that they cannot afford and her and her husband work like slaves to make ends meet. So what if I rent a small house and drive and old van (that the air conditioning just broke down in) I get to stay at home with my kids and spend time with my husband. That is what life is about. I don't have to pretend. Read my blog... I have issues with my kids just like everyone else and the great thing about this blog is that when I have a bad day I get to get online write down my problems and get advice from every other mom in this blogging community that face the same problems....

Okay so now that I have written a book I will go now. I just love what you wrote. I swear you are speaking about my sister (Whom I adore but she can be so judgemental) thanks for sharing this!

Josh, Steph, The Boys and Maddie said...

Oh yeah... you also touched me... this was always a sensitive subject for me with my sister, but I just try to be a Christian and be an example to her. I know that God isn't in her life and so it is hard to be upset with her. She just lives in this materialistic world!

Eyeglasses & Endzones said...

If by scary you mean unshowered, temper tantrum, short fused NOTHING perfect...then I guess I am a scary mommy...yes, I have seen these women and I am happy for them but they ARE NOT me!!

blueviolet said...

That was terrific! I'm not scary either. We all are imperfect but yes, some of us admit it and some don't.

I didn't even have the internet when my kids were little so I couldn't have pretended to be scary anyhow.

I love the picture you chose!!!

mimi said...

This is why I love you! Have I told you lately how awesome you are? How about how hysterical you are? How about what a great mom you are? Because you are!

I know a couple in real life...fake ones and scary ones!

the monkey's mama said...

hahaha! i came back from a 10 miler run and read this post and felt guilty :-o Seriously.

Congrats on your winning photo! yay!

PS I agree that it is super important to be REAL on blogs but I think (and I'm guilty of this most of the time, probably!) that we want to remember/highlight the GOOD things that happen...though I definitely don't hesitate to write about miscarriages, cancer, who knows...thinking while i type never really works for me :-o

Me-Mo said...

Oh I love this post!!!!! I also love all the other comments made by "real" moms who know that perfect is not a word that "real" moms use!
Thank you for reminding me that being one of "those moms" shouldn't be one of the goals in my life.

Ruby Red Slippers said...

Well written!
It certainly better not be me!
My kids speak English only,
I was terrible at breast feeding-and I certainly can't run ten miles. I can bike to the stopsign...
And my kids are cute-but they just got dropped off at Nana's with long fingernails, and needing a bath...I don't have time to be a scary mom! I barely have time to just get the laundry done!

jlo said...

I'm so not scary and got in a big old bloggin' fight about homeschool versus public school. It wasn't pretty so I keep mum on that subject now. I am wishing my kids back to schhol, but along that comes me right with them. :)

Izzy 'N Emmy said...

OMG! How the heck did you get into my head? I don't even have to leave the house to feel inadequate. lol! Congrats on your win, that's great!

He & Me + 3 said...

You are way funny. I do feel that way visiting some blogs. Good grief I must be the worst mom on the planet. I love visiting your real blog! I think you are an awesome mom and your son is the funniest and happiest boy in blogland:) You should be proud! Can't wait to see the picture you choose.

Adrienne in Ohio said...

Can we add the ones who clip so many coupons that they get $295 worth of groceries for $79??? THAT's scary! I'm too busy tripping over legos and transformers to clip coupons. Great post, Rebeckah.

Alicia said...

Wonderful post!! I love your writing skillz!!!!!!!

I'm a scary mommy! Just ask my kids! LOL!

By the the picture!

Jennifer Bowen said...

Congratulations on your win! You deserve it.

As far as being a scary mommy, uhmm, at times. LOL I try to do what's best for my kids and teach them good personal values. I do run, but not as far as others. I go to church, but not consistently. My children are gifted, but they do misbehave and attend public school. Cloth diapers... yuck! Organic food... sometimes. Sign language... just the alphabet and some words. Perfect mom... not even close. ;)

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, my goodness, you just made my night!!!

I have discovered so many REAL moms through blogging and I adore them all. It's the perfect mommies who scare the shit out of me. What are they trying to prove?

And I am still working on getting the code for you-- I'm so excited for you and will keep you posted! xo

Loukia said...

What an EXCELLENT post!!! I loved it... so glad you put this out there! I'm by no means a perfect mom - ha - far from it! It is not effortless for me, let me tell you! And for the record, I also LOVE Scary Mommy, the one and only! ;)

Nap Warden said...

I am so not scary...and neither is Scary Mommy (I met her at Blogher...Loved her!) Great pictures:)

Susie said...

I love this post! I think it is very clear the feelings that are generated from the "shoulds" out there. I personally take inspiration for things that I find useful and leave the rest as different and not better.

Dot O said...

Great post!!! I am laughing here (very quietly of course) while hubby is snoring away at my side.

Yes, I have seen scary mommies and they make me feel so inadequate. My kids only spoke English when little and they picked their noses and put there hands in their butts and I yelled at them..... Yes, those scary mommies make me feel ashamed. I am banking on the fact that you are not part of that club!!

Angry Julie Monday said...

Well Jill (Scary Mommy) is my ideal picture of a "perfect mother"..and me, well I'm just Angry..

Rachel said...

Oh my gosh! I could TOTALLY relate! I mean, cuz I'm only scary because of all the crazy and insane things that happen in our lives!

And I (gasp) used disposable diapers, had my kid slap me for the first time yesterday (in public no less), and I only taught him sign language so he could interpret for me (kidding... kinda).

You are SO my kind of mom - you sound FUN! And congrats on your win!

Shannon said...

This post seriously CRACKED. ME. UP. I KNOW exactly the people of whom you speak! I thank God every day that I'm not perfect, cuz how would I learn from my mistakes if I were perfect! :)

Congrats on the win..
I also won a contest like that..
a 16X20 print... it was BEAUTIFUL! My "readers" (all 5 of them) helped me choose! :)

Two Pretty Little Skirts said...

I love this post! hilarious.
Thanks for stoppin by the other day. Hope you had a great weekend!


PS thanks for the compliment on the name...made. my. day.

Mama Kat said...

Nessa's right...those moms try way too hard to uphold some weird standard that's just not neccessary. RELAX people...enjoy the ride!!

Mama Kat said...

ps I know it's been awhile since I stopped by, but I am LOVING your new blog design!

The Animator's Wife said...

I NEEDED laugh like that! Oh my, I am still wiping the tears and glad to be seriously imperfect.

Thank you and great post!

Becky said...

LOL! You crack me up! I think if we ever get the opportunity to meet we should jump on it! I think we could be kindred spirits. :-D My kids second language??? GAS!

I am NOT a scary mom! I'm terrifying...just ask my kids. HA!

P.S. My oldest child pooped in the front yard today. Sooooo faaaaaaarrrrr from perfect. :-p

Marilyn said...

I'm WAY on the other end of the spectrum from perfect. I was an extremely imperfect mom and as a Nana, I'm closer to perfect but then I don't have them all the time. I think grandparenting gives us a second chance. Love this post.

Drama queens mum (Kimberly) said...

Hi. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love this post. It is so true. That's definitely not me.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Perfection is boring.


I'll take imperfect with attitude anyday!!


JAMIE ANN said...

I loved your blog. Thanks for sharing. I know a scary mother. It is my mother in law. She knows I feel that way. My husband and I lived with her and my father in law for 4 years. Well I had to tell her when I am PMSing dont come to our appartment. We had our own everything we needed in the basement even our own door to the outside. So For a week I would not want to be around her because she is so bubbly and happy all the time. I dont think in the 11 years I have known her she has been mad, or yelling. She is a great person. When I first met her she had her garden and canned. Did probably everything on your list but run 10 miles. But she did walk 5 miles a day LOL TRUE! Well thanks again and I know I am far from that scary mom. I may be scary because I am loud and a yeller. Trying to fix that :)

Queenie Jeannie said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh and congrats on winning!!

I'm not fake either and I'm ok with that.

antoinette marie said...

wow, you got a lot of followers now...guess that's cause you're so funny...and oh yeah, real! friend 'fresh mommy' (www. always seem like one of those 'super-human' mom's and totalllllly intimidates me, but fake she is not! she's just so darned well-rounded and joyful it's scary to my crankiness sometimes, lol! you and i are true kinship girl! love, love, love this post....and the guts you posess to post it! blessings...

Stacey said...

I loooved this post!

No scary mommy in this house! I have a feeling you are going to get tons more responses out of this one! HA!

Erin said...

OMG! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this post! I did the same thing reading someone's blog....I thought, how is it that I can be so horrible a mother? But I'll take perfectly imperfect anyday!

Melinda said...

Gurrrrl - you is crazy...not scary, just crazy : ) I LOVE this post! What happened to kids just being kids? When did the world get it into their heads that being highly intelligent before kids even reached grade school was the "in" thing to do?

Foursons said...

AMEN! Thank you!

septembermom said...

Great post! I think I lose it with my kids way more times than I would like to admit on the blog. I'm far from perfect, but I guess that's o.k. Congrats on the win too! As usual, a wonderful photo.

Anonymous said...

this was too funny. I am glad youi won a picture. yo udeserve it. I loved the bubble blower picture. and Kaish is a cute rock star

Anonymous said...

i have been checking your blog before I sign into yours, so that is why i am anonymous. if i try to sign in on your site, it won't let me. mary

April said...

Such a fun post! Me, scary? Far from it, my friend! I am the REAL DEAL, baby! LOL! Love those pictures of Kaishon!

Mental P Mama said...

LOL. Aren't we all scary?

sunnyme said...

Well, I'm not a momo yet, but I'm known as the crazy girl with the two dogs. At least I'm very far away from being perfect, because it's really boring :)

We all know crazy people, don't you?

Kelly said...

this is an AWESOME post! i too have felt the pressure from other 'scary mommies' out there in bloggy world and starting second guessing my skills as a mom. i am the mommy to one, and a new mommy at that. there is a lot out there to compare yourself too and it can be extremely overwhelming! thank you for this post and for putting it so well! i need to embrace the mom i am and just go from there! and my son speaks great "toddlerease"...usually only those in my family can understand it! there's a skill!

i feel blessed to have found your blog!

drewmark19 said...

You lost me after 3 children! :)

The other day, I entered a cute baby contest. I saw another blogger did it, and, of course, I think my kiddos are kind of cute.

After filling out tons of information, it occurred to me that this was really stupid. But, I had done so much work by that time.

A couple days later, I told my sister what I did. She went to the blog and it said that their community was for mothers who stayed at home with their children + homeschooled, on and on.

Oh, what a surprise they'll get if they drop by my blog and see that...gasp...I don't homeschool...even worse...I work outside of the home....and...horror of all horrors...I teach in a PUBLIC SCHOOL! :)

What a stupid waste of time that was!

Loved this was hilarious!

tom the girl said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog!

This post rocks, and I HAVE to share it on twitter!!!

Find me there: @heartmychloe


The Blonde Duck said...

I'm not a mommy yet, but I can tell you I won't be perfect. If I homeschooled my children, they could tell you stories all day and that'd be it.

Bridgett said...

Awesome. I know a couple of mommies like this...but as I got to know them, I realized that many of them also drank rather heavily...

Taylor said...

L.O.L. hahaha!! My friend suggested I follow a perfect mommy like this and I did for a while but I just couldn't stand the taste of puke in my mouth anymore LOL. I mean seriously, when do they find the time to blog while they are off being so perfect? Maybe they don't sleep either!

Congrats on winning.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

I am so NOT scary, it's SCARY! If you've read about The Boy on my site, you know the reason Freaking is my middle name!

Also, I'm way older than all you mommy bloggers, yet, unbelievably, I'm still a mommy. And a grandma. And an evil stepmother.

But I have the SCARIEST grandkids (at least to me, they're perfect).

Pumpkin Delight said...

Being a scary mom seems like a whole other job...too much work.
The first photo is beautiful!

Liz said...

This was just funny! Congrats on your win!

Farmers Wife said...

This post was great, when I first saw the 3 kids part (I have 3 kids) I thought you were going to be talking about me. BUT my kids don't behave all the time (they turn into lunatics in the shopping centre) I don't "wear" them, I certainly do not homeschool (god forbid, I love my child free days....) and I am not perfect!!!!! But I know plenty of mums who fit this description... Thanks for making me smile....

Kimberly said...

This is the kind of post I will return to several times to reread when I need a good laugh, some inspiration to keep going, and for a hug! It's all in one! What an awesome post. Thank you!!! It's amazing how well you have written a post that relates to all kinds of mamas out there.

Jen said...

I like this post. I have more than 3 children and a set a multiples, in fact my multiples are why I have more than 3 kids, but I am in NO way like one of these 'scary mommies'. Very much the opposite.

BTW, I like your new look!

Woman Interrupted said...

LOVE IT! Here's to being real, even with the anonimity (whatever the right word is -- I'm to scary to look it up) of cyberspace.

Sera said...

I came over from the link on Mama Kat's blog for her writer's workshop prompts. Can I just say I LOVE this post. I can't read the blogs where everything is perfect all the time. My favorites are the ones that are honest, and funny, and just real. This is not easy - not easy in the LEAST, and how you could possibly cope by acting like it's perfect? Why should people feel like they have to act like it's perfect? Thanks for being real. :)

Kay said...

A little secret....the 'stepford wives' are anything BUT perfect! I know many in my personal life, BUT I know their men too...and TRUST me, life is not perfect... P.S. not from personal experience, just the field that I am do I know this ;) the secrets we must keep...

Martha in PA said...

Too funny, I am the anti-scary mom... about as far from perfect as you can get! I knew some scary moms IRL when Tara was an infant, "perfect" lives, husbands (well I had one, he just abandoned us), one even made her own BABY wipes... yikes. I worked full time, they all were SAHMs. I left each get together feeling inadequate!

Oysterblogger said...

I totally agree. I definately can not keep up with the perfect mommy bloggers. All I can think of is that if they are blogging that much and doing that much crap their kids are somehow being neglected. You put out there all the good stuff. I like to be self deprecating and real but I do not want to lie of course I don't write or document when my kids are whining or naughty or annoying or whatever ! I like your blog! Its too bad that people spend that much time and energy on an illusion, but also the internet sorta magnifies everyone's ego no matter what state it is in.
I guess this is an issue that hits home as you can see all my blah blah on the subject!!

Unknown Mami said...

That closing picture is perfect. That's the kind of perfection I like.
How does it feel to be a muse?

SKELLER said...

well, I'd like to leave a considerate reply, but I'm in a hurry. have to finish my protein shake so I can meet my private pilates instructor on time before heading out to the Spa for the morning and the couture shops in the afternoon ... all while my boys attend the best sports camp money can buy.

just thought I'd give you the OC version ...!! ;-}

Live.Love.Eat said...

GREAT post! And your honesty is one thing I love about you and coming here! So refreshing!!!!!!

I don't know how some people do it. I only have 1 child and 2 dogs and I feel like I am losing it sometimes. I just had a donut just because of stress :)

DALewis said...

OHMYWORD...this made me laugh! I KNOW exactly what you mean. Who are these gals and how in the heck is their life so dang PERFECT? I'm obviously NOT one cause seriously, where would the fun be in that??? :)

That one girl said...

I am SOOOO with you on this.

Blog as you are.

Be true.

True is good, perfection is boring(and annoying).

People fart, and burp and kids misbehave and girls clog toilets too.

It's true.

So, feel free to write about it peeps!

I love that!

'Melissa Cleo' said...

Am so glad you pointed this one out to me, Rebeckah! While I might battle OCD on a daily basis...could NEVER be mistaken for the perfect Mommy! Thank God I've never been one to harbor a desire to keep up with The Jones'!! LOL!!! The only such thing as perfect in this world happened 2,000+ years ago in a manger on December 25th! Praise God for HIS (and ONLY HIS) perfectness!!!!!!