A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words.
He clears his throats and says, "Bad food."
They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass.
They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says.
"That’s not surprising," the elders say.
"You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here."
TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. (Jerry Seinfeld)
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?" "Well... are you religious?"
He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ?
"Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist"
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God!" "Me too!
Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too!
Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
Quince is doing well at his home!
Please keep praying.
the 5 best children in the world
(who DON'T want to go back to school tomorrow...)
Sienna, Mila, Sabria, Naji and Kaish